Forum > Blogs > The little girl who lucked out.
The little girl who lucked out.
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Wed, 17 Jun 2015 09:05:15

Sad


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Tue, 30 Jun 2015 10:09:28
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Just received another blow yesterday evening.  We had already been told that my wife could get pregnant again, but yesterday the gynaecologist told us that we should wait a year to let the scar on her uterus heal.  So best case scenario we won't have a second kid untill our eldest is 5 and a half  Sad  He said it would probably not be a problem to try earlier on, but there is no means of evaluating just how strong the scar tissue is at any given point in time.  So yeah, I don't think we'll be taking risks.  But I also don't know if we'll still be up for it a year down the line.

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Tue, 30 Jun 2015 14:29:37
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Sad Sorry to hear that Sup.

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Wed, 01 Jul 2015 02:34:25
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Yeah, sorry to hear that, man. Sad

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Sun, 12 Jul 2015 11:42:34

It's good news that it should heal and you can try again. Look on it positively.

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Thu, 16 Jul 2015 12:04:43
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So yeah, things aren't improving much.  When it had been decided that we would have a ceasar section, we had to wait a looong time on the anisthestethic (sp?).  While my wife was under, I heard him calling to someone and arguing over what he had been told earlier and the how and why of why he had been so late.  I knew there and then that there had been a communications problem between the gaenecologist and him and minutes were lost.  I never told my wife though, as there was enough sorrow and anger as it was, and our girl had been away for so long it wouldn't have made a difference

So yesterday the midwife who was with us during the labour came by for a chat and to check up on us, and she brought it up.  So now my wife is pissed at me for keeping that from her, despite all my good intentions.  What's even worse, the midwife said we waited about 10 minutes for this guy to arrive.  2 weeks prior, some head docter told ous that a minute more or less wouldn't have saved our daughter, we had been at least 10 minutes too late.  So now my wife is adding this all up and has decided it's a medical error and she wants some personal apology from the anistestethic (sp?) and that she doesn't want to pay any bills.

I don't want this.  I don't want to have to spend all this energy in rattling some cages over at the hospital.  A lot of procedures were changed after what happened to us already.
I just want this to be done, so we can pour our energy in grieving for Juno...
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Thu, 16 Jul 2015 12:46:16

I know you really don't want to have to think about it, but you should take those incompetent assholes for every last cent that they have. What they did was inexcusable. They really should pay. Hurt somebodies wallet, they never forget that! You'll help couples out in the long run that may have to deal with them again. Sorry.

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Thu, 16 Jul 2015 13:01:19

Yes, and it'll probably help your wife to have some closure.  If you don't act, it may be in the back of her mind and she may never be able to move on.

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Thu, 16 Jul 2015 13:36:28

Ughhh, awful situation to be in. I know you just want to try and heal and move on, but it sounds like your wife won't be able to do so unless you pursue this. I don't know what malpractice/negligence laws are in your country, but in the US you have to show that no other doctor would have made the same mistake, and that doesn't seem to be a stretch in this case. Any good hospital administrator would recognize what happened and I think getting the bill waived won't be too hard. The apology might be harder. Doctors can be arrogant bastards so who knows. Try to bite down and muscle through it. It will be hard, but in the long run it may help you too.

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Thu, 16 Jul 2015 15:55:07

It might be worth it, if you can find a lawyer on a no win no fee basis. They can do most of the legwork and you could get an apology and some cash too. Which you deserve if they really did f-up.

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Fri, 17 Jul 2015 02:18:52

Completely presumptuous question knowing nothing about your wife or your relationship, but would it be easier for you (and acceptable for her) if she pursued it without your involvement? It sounds like you both need to grieve in different ways. Sad

As you asked, British: anaesthetist, American: anesthesiologist.

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Sat, 18 Jul 2015 00:12:25

Man this place has been rough lately. I wish you well, and yeah get the bills waved.

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Sat, 18 Jul 2015 07:53:54

Well, we haven't received the bills yet, so we haven't been able to calculate how much this will cost us in the end.

gamingeek said:

It might be worth it, if you can find a lawyer on a no win no fee basis. They can do most of the legwork and you could get an apology and some cash too. Which you deserve if they really did f-up.

They have those kinds of lawyers in the UK?  This isn't the United States of Hollywood GG, and I certainly don't want to get some form of personal gain out of this.  If some doctor had amputated my wrong foot by accident I can see me wishing some form of compensation for that, but this is on such a different level.  It'd feel wrong to get personal gain from this and why bother, nothing is going to bring her back.

Foolz said:

Completely presumptuous question knowing nothing about your wife or your relationship, but would it be easier for you (and acceptable for her) if she pursued it without your involvement? It sounds like you both need to grieve in different ways. Sad

As you asked, British: anaesthetist, American: anesthesiologist.

Yeah, that ain't going to happen.  She's still going through rough times, and even at the best of times doing paperwork for her equals asking me to do it for her  Nyaa  Also, thanks for the spelling, I couldn't be arsed to look it up myself.

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Sat, 18 Jul 2015 08:37:26

You shouldn't see it as personal gain.  Just as a small way of making them pay for their mistake or negligence.  As Leo said, this would force them to be much more careful and professional in the future and this would only help other families not to suffer from the same mistakes you are suffering.

If you end up making more in compensation than you are asked to pay for medical bills, I understand what you say about feeling wrong or unethical to make money from this.  You could donate it to a children's hospital like Great Ormond Street or a charity of your choice.

In any case, money would not put right the terrible thing that happened to your family but think that it could help prevent it from happening to others, and that would be a positive to come out of something so terrible.

___

Listen to Wu-Tang and watch Kung-Fu

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Sat, 18 Jul 2015 08:51:25
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Things have already changed for the better.  We were told of 2 great changes to hospital procedure and policy were made already as a direct result of what happened to us.  Personally, I don't think hitting their wallet would encourage them to change anything.  Anyhow, maybe I'll feel differently about this once we receive the bills.  For now, I just want to let it rest.

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Sat, 18 Jul 2015 09:09:09
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Anesthesiologist turned my father into a vegetable due to an error about 4 years ago, and we all are suffering the consequences of it. The surgery was otherwise a success, so he is doomed to be kept alive in his husk for many years, but the toll on his bride is devastating.

Hrm

You are right about the wallet, it is better to have reform in practices, no point in fighting with their insurance company for fifteen years.


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Sat, 18 Jul 2015 09:15:03
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I am plussing you for your stance on reform versus personal gain.  I am very sorry for you and what happened to your father.  In this day and age, it is just very hard to find peace with the idea that not everything is 100% controllable and can be solved or cured.

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Sat, 18 Jul 2015 09:23:33
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^Yeah, as I have gotten older I understand that we are a part of nature, and death and loss is as natural a part of life as gain and jubilation. There is a random quality to survival that cannot be attributed to merit, honour or anything else. Living on a farm has taught me a lot. At first you think it's not fair, then you realise death and illness has nothing to do with "fair". It's like an element of weather, it just is.


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Sat, 18 Jul 2015 09:43:19
aspro said:

^Yeah, as I have gotten older I understand that we are a part of nature, and death and loss is as natural a part of life as gain and jubilation. There is a random quality to survival that cannot be attributed to merit, honour or anything else. Living on a farm has taught me a lot. At first you think it's not fair, then you realise death and illness has nothing to do with "fair". It's like an element of weather, it just is.

Couldn't have said it better.  Just randomness and probability.

___

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Sun, 19 Jul 2015 10:44:52
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Yes, we have no win no fee lawyers here, lots of them.

Our NHS also means we don't pay medical bills unless we go private. In terms of getting compensation I was more thinking about it because you had to pay medical bills.

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