I've been meaning to post this story for a few days, but I wanted to have some kind of conclusion. Unfortunately after almost a week I still don't have one, so I figured I'd go ahead and at least begin the story. It starts last Friday evening when my wife and I had friends in town that wanted to meet us for dinner. When you live in the tourist center of the United States, it's inevitible that a friend will be on vacation and want to say their hellos while they're in town. Not a bad thing at all. Usually we'll meet up and take them to a local spot that the tourists don't know about or we'll hit up a restuarant at one of the big theme park hotels and enjoy something there. Not this time. You see, these people, while very nice, don't exactly have the most sophisticated palattes and they wanted to go to Olive Garden.

<insert eyeroll here>

My wife tried to protest a little, but they were insistant and it was their vacation so we relectantly agreed.  Now for anyone outside of the US, you might not be familiar with this a restaurant, and I use the term restaurant very lightly here, allow me to give you a quick explanation of it.  The Olive Garden is a nationwide chain of Italian restaurants that has a lovely southern Italian atmosphere. Their philosophy is to offer good breadsticks and salad, and then have everything else on the menu be just good enough that if you wind up in an unfamiliar area and see an Olive Garden you'll go in there because you know its safe. At least that used to be the philosophy. Over the past decade the quality of their food has really gone down to the point where when someone recommends going there, they're just going for the joke. No one wants to eat at the Olive Garden.

And just to be clear, I'm no food snob. If you give me a choice between The Waffle House and any other restaurant, I'll take the Waffle House 2 out of 3 times. The Olive Garden is just crap. It's Italian food for morons or for people who have never eaten food before.

So, you can imagine how excited I was to go back. Here's the funny thing though. The food wasn't terrible this time. It wasn't great, but I wasn't offended. The last time I went about 2 years ago, everything came out cold and tasteless. This time.... it was the old slightly-better-than average Olive Garden. Dinner with good friends and almost good food. Not a bad way to spend an evening. But you know what's a really bad way to spend your morning? Shitting your guts out.

Yep, the meal that started with the never ending pasta bowl finished with never getting off the toilet bowl. Yes, Saturday was not a good day. Not since Gaming Geek visited the exotic sub-continent of India has one man shit so much. I had planned to get through a big chunk of Kingdom Hearts that day. It wasn't meant to be. Apparently only Hearthstone and other cell phone games could be played. Sunday wasn't much better. How I wasn't completely hollow at this point was truly a mystery. I can only assume that amongst my dish of tortolini was a small wormhole that lead to the feces dimension, and it still hadn't gone through my system.

The rest of the work week hasn't been much better. I've been keeping it to soup, crackers, and stuff like that in hopes that it would end. While the constant barrage has ended, I'm still having bad moments. Today while I was driving home, I had to stop and use the bathroom at a Home Depot. For the record, lets take a moment and thank the fine men and women who keep those bathrooms sparklingly clean. I hope that was the last of it, but I'm not really sure. My current theory is that I may have completely shit out my colon and lower intestine, and this is just how the rest of my life will be. Guess I'll find out tomorrow.

At any rate, hope you guys enjoy reading this over breakfast, lunch or dinner.

Posted by robio Thu, 18 Jan 2018 04:18:37 (comments: 10)
robio's Blogs RSS
Robio vs. the Olive Garden (comments: 10) robio
Thu, 18 Jan 2018 04:18:37
Figuring out justice (comments: 34) robio
Sat, 19 Aug 2017 04:49:36
The past 45 days at my job (comments: 14) robio
Thu, 18 May 2017 13:04:52
Top 10 Gameboy games of all time (comments: 13) robio
Thu, 21 Apr 2016 01:44:37
Top 10 Arcade Games (1986 - 1995) (comments: 12) robio
Mon, 11 Apr 2016 02:03:58
See All »
robio's Reviews RSS
8.00 PS4 Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice (comments: 3) robio
Thu, 31 Aug 2017 04:06:03
5.00 PS3 Limbo (comments: 10) robio
Sun, 24 Jul 2011 04:51:31
6.50 PS3 WWE All Stars (comments: 6) robio
Sat, 02 Apr 2011 13:37:07
See All »
robio's Comments RSS
Galaxy 2 never really clicked with me for some reason. I've given it a couple times over the years, ... avatarrobio See comment >>
Sat, 10 Feb 2018 00:46:31
edgecrusher said:I had Monster Hunter on Wii...never played it. Then I got it on Wii U....never play... avatarrobio See comment >>
Fri, 09 Feb 2018 18:55:12
... avatarrobio See comment >>
Fri, 02 Feb 2018 16:25:15
edgecrusher said:Pre Ordered Shadow of the Colossus, which comes out this week!I couldn't resist aft... avatarrobio See comment >>
Fri, 02 Feb 2018 14:55:26
Dickheads, dickheads, roly-poly dickheads. Dickheads, dickheads, eat them up, yum!... avatarrobio See comment >>
Fri, 02 Feb 2018 03:15:00
See All »
robio's Stars RSS
I apologise in advance for the loading The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild – Switch Screensho... avatargamingeek See comment >>
Mon, 16 Jan 2017 15:39:20
Star fox guard!!!!!! I am hooked! This is awesome! I hate tower defense games but this isn't some st... avatarDvader See comment >>
Tue, 02 Aug 2016 03:32:56
Never before have I seen so many people recently spotted!!!!  NINE!!Group hug!... avatarbugsonglass See comment >>
Thu, 31 Mar 2016 17:11:42
Though I should've listened to reviews when it came to Wii Music.... avatartravo See comment >>
Thu, 12 Mar 2015 01:30:55
Oh god. I can have waaay too much fun with this. I better stop right now.... avatarphantom_leo See comment >>
Tue, 27 Jan 2015 13:09:59
See All »
Recently Spotted:
gamingeek (10m)
Login @ The VG Press
Remember me?