Dear Santa,
Here is my tiny letter. There is this lecherous man from Veracruz, who stalks me, watching my ass whenever I do any kind of stretch. He freaks me out. Me and my kitty. Please, for Christmas just do something about him.
Prefferably get the elf hitman - Jobo - to finish him off.
Signed, GG
gamingeek said:Dear Santa,
Here is my tiny letter. There is this lecherous man from Santa Cruz, who stalks me, watching my ass whenever I do any kind of stretch. He freaks me out. Me and my kitty. Please, for Christmas just do something about him.
Prefferably get the elf hitman - Jobo - to finish him off.
Signed, GG
steel is in veracruz if it's him you're after
anyway, dear santa,
i've been very good
please get the elves at nindendo working on pikmin 3. i deserve it
ps please spare steel, he has a family
bugsonglass said:gamingeek said:Dear Santa,
Here is my tiny letter. There is this lecherous man from Santa Cruz, who stalks me, watching my ass whenever I do any kind of stretch. He freaks me out. Me and my kitty. Please, for Christmas just do something about him.
Prefferably get the elf hitman - Jobo - to finish him off.
Signed, GG
steel is in veracruz if it's him you're after
anyway, dear santa,
i've been very good
please get the elves at nindendo working on pikmin 3. i deserve it
ps please spare steel, he has a family
Damnit, Jobo might have taken out Steel's brother Steeleta. Thanks for the correction.
And Nintendo are already making pikmin 3 so you are sorted.
You are the beneficiary of a large sum of the late prince Umeche in the total of $35 million. In order for the funds to be transferred, a cover charge of $3,000 needs to be paid, then it can be wired to your account.
You are strongly advised to Contact The foreign remittance officer of OCEANIC BANK OF NIGERIA
1) Your Full Name and address:
2) Mobile/Fax number#:
3) Bank Details where you want the money to be transferred for you:
4) Age and occupation.
For more directives.
Lastly you are warned to disregard any other contact with other
officer Banks unless as been directed by this Bank, We are very sorry forthe plight you have gone through in the past.
Thanks for adhering to this instruction.
Thanks and once again congratulations.
Yours faithfully.
Dr. Alhaji Umaru Bello Girei
Executive Secretary Governor, Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN).
---
Tell me to get back to rewriting this site so it's not horrible on mobileLet's cut straight to it shall we? I have not been a good boy this year. Not even close. Over the past 12 months I convinced Capcom that Spyborgs was a great idea, pulled the plug on Duke Nuke'em Forever (it would have been 2010 GoTY based on what I played), forced Factor 5 to go out of business, single handedly developed the PSPgo, and poisoned Britany Murphy. These are in fact the very least of my crimes. Let's just say I've been naughty and I don't deserve anything. That being said, it's still in your best interest to bring me everything that I want.
You see, on Christmas Eve while you're busy flying around the world I'll be taking a trip of my own. I'll be going to the North Pole where I will be visiting Mrs. Claus and will proceed to bone her in a way that you've never been man enough to do. I will violate every single orafice on her body and don't doubt for a second that your moaning whore of a wife will love every second of it. And it will all be video taped. From the beginning when I mount her pastey wrinkled ass until the end when I make her face as white as your snowy beard. Then I will leave the bitch and be on my way home.
If I don't find everything I want under my tree the next morning, that videotape will be sent to every media outlet in the world. YouTube, TMZ, the Christian Science Monitor and everything else you can think of will have a digital copy in their hands. So think about your wife and her reputation. I'll be there either way getting my fill of the old bag, but it's up to you who finds out about it.
Merry Christmas,
Dark Robio
P.S. There will be no cookies and milk for you at my house you fat bastard, but in a show of holiday spirit I'll leave some cheap whiskey for you.
Dvader said:I think that is post of the year.
I'm actually goint to favourite it.
Throughout my life I have seen the best in people and the worst in people; there have been times when my body has been broken, but never my spirit. Though hurt by the hands of strangers and familiar people too, I have never stopped caring about the world around me. Even in this day and age, I still wish for peace, tolerance, forgiveness and a better life for all.
I know it's a lot to ask these days and sometimes it seems like an impossibility, but I wanted to write to you with a little glimmer of hope. In the remotest reaches of the web, there exists a site. On this site there's a group of guys. These guys are from all corners of the Earth, but together they are a miracle. Though different in personality, unique in tastes and all possessing the sharpest of tongues and wit... they all get along! Every day they share their stories. Every day they make each other laugh. They even argue sometimes, but when all is said and done, they remain friends!
Even the mildest gamers are competitive by nature, but these guys STILL all get along. If only the rest of the world could take a lesson from them!
Since there's nothing I want, I'll ask a favor instead. Watch over these guys. May they and their families know nothing but good fortune. From the smallest of joys in the newest of games to the greatest of treasures in the eyes of their sons and their daughters, let each and every day bring them a little more happiness.
Let their good natures serve as an example for the rest of the world to see. Let their site grow and grow. Let the hobby they all share flourish and bring even more people together.
It may not be world peace, but it's a good start! When good people get together in the name of good times, when they see past their differences and treat each other excellently, what more can you ask for really? This is the one and only thing I ask for this year Santa. Please make it come true!
Phantom_Leo
I agree with Phantom_Leo's sentiment...
...for everyone except Dark Robio.
He is a douche and should burn in hell.
The rest of them are good people.
Doomo Arigato!
Shigeru Miyamoto
...and I want Ogre Battle 64 on the Virtual Console N-O-W you Red, Bearded Fat-Bastard!
How long are you gonna make me wait?!
J-E-E-Z ! ! !
Santa,
Look out for all the talented people who lost their jobs in the gaming industry this year. May all the good ones be hired by companies with deep pockets. Please keep digital distribution from becoming the exclusive format for at least another 5 years.
Oh, and FU for all the shitty presents I got as a kid,
Aspro.
Miyamoto said:Dear Santa,
I agree with Phantom_Leo's sentiment...
...for everyone except Dark Robio.
He is a douche and should burn in hell.
The rest of them are good people.
Doomo Arigato!
Shigeru Miyamoto
Yeah I agree. Dark Robio is a douche. He's ruining my good name.
I have been very nice this year, so please make digital distribution an exclusive format within the next year.
Thanks,
Ravenprose
P.S. I'm sorry I ate your cookies last year.
P.P.S. Leo is a super swell guy, even though he recently tried to kill me with rat poison.
What I want:
I want a suspense/investigation game starring Arkady Renko (from the Martin C. Smith series of police novels) and based on modern day Moscow. I want it dark and gritty, like Condemned but done right, with shooting mechanics like Uncharted 2, but with open world environments, with crime related missions being generated constantly and with in-game rewards for solving them, as well as gorgeously detailed indoor ones, to conduct investigations with all the gadgets that a homicide detective would have at his disposal.
The plot would involve the investigation of a highly ranked army officer gone illegal weapons dealer, as well as involved in human experiments at an isolated research facility, while at the same time tracking down a serial killer on the loose. It would be filled with treachery and double-crossing, even from your closest friends.