Forum > Gaming Discussion > Have you been naughty or nice? Write your Santa letter here!
Have you been naughty or nice? Write your Santa letter here!
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Wed, 23 Dec 2009 15:39:07
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Christmas is coming! In case you didn't notice, pieces of shit. In this thread, you will pour all your hopes and dreams (gaming-wise) and write a tiny letter to Santa. Ask for anything you wish it would become real, a cancelled sequel, a franchise revamp, anything and everything goes. If you have been nice enough, Santa will come and diddle you at night with a fat, red dildo.

What I want:

I want a suspense/investigation game starring Arkady Renko (from the Martin C. Smith series of police novels) and based on modern day Moscow. I want it dark and gritty, like Condemned but done right, with shooting mechanics like Uncharted 2, but with open world environments, with crime related missions being generated constantly and with in-game rewards for solving them, as well as gorgeously detailed indoor ones, to conduct investigations with all the gadgets that a homicide detective would have at his disposal.

The plot would involve the investigation of a highly ranked army officer gone illegal weapons dealer, as well as involved in human experiments at an isolated research facility, while at the same time tracking down a serial killer on the loose. It would be filled with treachery and double-crossing, even from your closest friends.
Edited: Wed, 23 Dec 2009 15:39:34
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Wed, 23 Dec 2009 15:46:47
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Dear Santa,

Here is my tiny letter. There is this lecherous man from Veracruz, who stalks me, watching my ass whenever I do any kind of stretch. He freaks me out. Me and my kitty. Please, for Christmas just do something about him.

Prefferably get the elf hitman - Jobo - to finish him off.

Signed, GG

Edited: Wed, 23 Dec 2009 16:03:50

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Wed, 23 Dec 2009 15:49:43
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gamingeek said:

Dear Santa,

Here is my tiny letter. There is this lecherous man from Santa Cruz, who stalks me, watching my ass whenever I do any kind of stretch. He freaks me out. Me and my kitty. Please, for Christmas just do something about him.

Prefferably get the elf hitman - Jobo - to finish him off.

Signed, GG

steel is in veracruz if it's him you're after Grinning

anyway, dear santa,

i've been very good

please get the elves at nindendo working on pikmin 3.  i deserve it

ps please spare steel, he has a family

Edited: Wed, 23 Dec 2009 15:50:12

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Wed, 23 Dec 2009 16:04:51
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bugsonglass said:

gamingeek said:

Dear Santa,

Here is my tiny letter. There is this lecherous man from Santa Cruz, who stalks me, watching my ass whenever I do any kind of stretch. He freaks me out. Me and my kitty. Please, for Christmas just do something about him.

Prefferably get the elf hitman - Jobo - to finish him off.

Signed, GG

steel is in veracruz if it's him you're after Grinning

anyway, dear santa,

i've been very good

please get the elves at nindendo working on pikmin 3.  i deserve it

ps please spare steel, he has a family

Damnit, Jobo might have taken out Steel's brother Steeleta. Thanks for the correction.

And Nintendo are already making pikmin 3 so you are sorted.

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Wed, 23 Dec 2009 16:41:55
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Dear Mr. Niklaus,

You are the beneficiary of a large sum of the late prince Umeche in the total of $35 million.  In order for the funds to be transferred, a cover charge of $3,000 needs to be paid, then it can be wired to your account.

You are strongly advised to Contact The foreign remittance officer of OCEANIC BANK OF NIGERIA

1) Your Full Name and address:
2) Mobile/Fax number#:
3) Bank Details where you want the money to be transferred for you:
4) Age and occupation.

For more directives.

Lastly you are warned to disregard any other contact with other
officer Banks unless as been directed by this Bank, We are very sorry forthe plight you have gone through in the past.

Thanks for adhering to this instruction.

Thanks and once again congratulations.

Yours faithfully.

Dr. Alhaji Umaru Bello Girei
Executive Secretary Governor, Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN).
Edited: Wed, 23 Dec 2009 16:42:16

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Wed, 23 Dec 2009 16:47:02
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LOL

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Wed, 23 Dec 2009 22:45:26
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Dear Santa,

Let's cut straight to it shall we?  I have not been a good boy this year.  Not even close.  Over the past 12 months I convinced Capcom that Spyborgs was a great idea, pulled the plug on Duke Nuke'em Forever (it would have been 2010 GoTY based on what I played), forced Factor 5 to go out of business, single handedly developed the PSPgo, and poisoned Britany Murphy.  These are in fact the very least of my crimes.  Let's just say I've been naughty and I don't deserve anything.  That being said, it's still in your best interest to bring me everything that I want.

You see, on Christmas Eve while you're busy flying around the world I'll be taking a trip of my own.  I'll be going to the North Pole where I will be visiting Mrs. Claus and will proceed to bone her in a way that you've never been man enough to do.  I will violate every single orafice on her body and don't doubt for a second that your moaning whore of a wife will love every second of it.  And it will all be video taped.  From the beginning when I mount her pastey wrinkled ass until the end when I make her face as white as your snowy beard.  Then I will leave the bitch and be on my way home.

If I don't find everything I want under my tree the next morning, that videotape will be sent to every media outlet in the world.  YouTube, TMZ, the Christian Science Monitor and everything else you can think of will have a digital copy in their hands.  So think about your wife and her reputation.  I'll be there either way getting my fill of the old bag, but it's up to you who finds out about it.

Merry Christmas,

Dark Robio

P.S.  There will be no cookies and milk for you at my house you fat bastard, but in a show of holiday spirit I'll leave some cheap whiskey for you.  
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Wed, 23 Dec 2009 23:12:39
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LOL  OMG

LOL

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Thu, 24 Dec 2009 00:58:20
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I think that is post of the year.
660896.png
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Thu, 24 Dec 2009 01:44:35

Dvader said:
I think that is post of the year.

I'm actually goint to favourite it.

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Thu, 24 Dec 2009 02:20:46
Dear Santa,


It's been a while since you've heard from me and I'm sorry for that. Since the last time I wrote you, I've grown from a boy to a man, and I think you would be proud of the person I've become. I work very hard now at what I do, and I'm no longer wanting for anything. I can take care of myself, my family and my friends and do so whenever I can.

Throughout my life I have seen the best in people and the worst in people; there have been times when my body has been broken, but never my spirit. Though hurt by the hands of strangers and familiar people too, I have never stopped caring about the world around me. Even in this day and age, I still wish for peace, tolerance, forgiveness and a better life for all.

I know it's a lot to ask these days and sometimes it seems like an impossibility, but I wanted to write to you with a little glimmer of hope. In the remotest reaches of the web, there exists a site. On this site there's a group of guys. These guys are from all corners of the Earth, but together they are a miracle. Though different in personality, unique in tastes and all possessing the sharpest of tongues and wit... they all get along! Every day they share their stories. Every day they make each other laugh. They even argue sometimes, but when all is said and done, they remain friends!

Even the mildest gamers are competitive by nature, but these guys STILL all get along. If only the rest of the world could take a lesson from them!

Since there's nothing I want, I'll ask a favor instead. Watch over these guys. May they and their families know nothing but good fortune. From the smallest of joys in the newest of games to the greatest of treasures in the eyes of their sons and their daughters, let each and every day bring them a little more happiness.

Let their good natures serve as an example for the rest of the world to see. Let their site grow and grow. Let the hobby they all share flourish and bring even more people together.

It may not be world peace, but it's a good start! When good people get together in the name of good times, when they see past their differences and treat each other excellently, what more can you ask for really? This is the one and only thing I ask for this year Santa. Please make it come true!


Sincerely Yours,

Phantom_Leo


Edited: Thu, 24 Dec 2009 03:58:58
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Thu, 24 Dec 2009 02:23:31
Dear Santa,


I agree with Phantom_Leo's sentiment...

...for everyone except Dark Robio.

He is a douche and should burn in hell.

The rest of them are good people.


Doomo Arigato!

Shigeru Miyamoto
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Thu, 24 Dec 2009 02:25:38

^Awww Jeez Leo.

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Thu, 24 Dec 2009 02:28:20
Oh!

...and I want Ogre Battle 64 on the Virtual Console N-O-W you Red, Bearded Fat-Bastard!

How long are you gonna make me wait?!

J-E-E-Z ! ! !
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Thu, 24 Dec 2009 02:37:42

Santa, 

Look out for all the talented people who lost their jobs in the gaming industry this year. May all the good ones be hired by companies with deep pockets. Please keep digital distribution from becoming the exclusive format for at least another 5 years.

Oh, and FU for all the shitty presents I got as a kid,

Aspro.

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Thu, 24 Dec 2009 02:42:47

Miyamoto said:
Dear Santa,


I agree with Phantom_Leo's sentiment...

...for everyone except Dark Robio.

He is a douche and should burn in hell.

The rest of them are good people.


Doomo Arigato!

Shigeru Miyamoto

Yeah I agree. Dark Robio is a douche. He's ruining my good name.

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Thu, 24 Dec 2009 03:02:00
Oh, man. Leo's post made my eyes water a bit. Thanks, Leo. Lots of love for you as well.
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Thu, 24 Dec 2009 03:06:47
*Tear*

Thank you Leo and of course I feel the same way.
660896.png
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Thu, 24 Dec 2009 03:13:56
Dear Santa,

I have been very nice this year, so please make digital distribution an exclusive format within the next year. Happy

Thanks,
Ravenprose

P.S. I'm sorry I ate your cookies last year.


P.P.S. Leo is a super swell guy, even though he recently tried to kill me with rat poison.
Edited: Thu, 24 Dec 2009 03:34:27

The VG Press

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Thu, 24 Dec 2009 03:52:00
phantom_leo said:
Dear Santa,
...
Sincerely Yours,

Phantom_Leo

Cry

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