Hmm, I honestly don't know how people make friends. I don't have any real friends; I do have quite a few acquaintances, though. I read a book on creating friends once, but it seemed like too much work, lol. People tend to annoy me, so I avoid them for the most part.
i made 5 friends at elementary school, i made 3 friends at secondary school, i made 1 friend at university, so far i have made 0 friends at work. see the pattern?
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Listen to Wu-Tang and watch Kung-Fu
bugsonglass said:i made 5 friends at elementary school, i made 3 friends at secondary school, i made 1 friend at university, so far i have made 0 friends at work. see the pattern?
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Tell me to get back to rewriting this site so it's not horrible on mobileYodariquo said:
hadn't even realised my post could have been interpreted that way
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Listen to Wu-Tang and watch Kung-Fu
Every friend I had from my college days has long disappeared, but I do have a few still mainly due to the whole convention circuit. If you dress up as a super hero with someone, you form a bond. Still, the best friend I've had for the past 5 years or so was actually a guy I met at my office. We had a few mutal interests and liked beer, and lo a friendship was born!
Men don't easily make or maintain relationships with other men. That's my observation. TV and movies would have you think that forming a friendship is as easy as rocking up to a bar and hanging out, but that is not the case.
Why is that? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it is evolutionary, based on threat assesment etc...
I have no friends now, because I moved from my community and now live in a remote region (where there is no-one who is even remotely my age or have my interests). When I did have friends I made them in the most unlikely ways. One of the best friends I had was a co-worker who appreciated beer and basketball as much as I did. Another good friend was a dude from work who had a bunch of frinds going to Vegas and on a whim, that day, asked if I wanted to go along. My best friend was a friend of a friend from work. So in that case, it was all work related, and always the other person who invited me along.
I started drinking socially, that is, to make social events less intimidating. Take the following scenario, first without beer, then with beer.
Adam: Watching the game later, you like the Baltimore Banchees right?
Bob: Yup.
Adam: You want to watch the game after work?
Bob: At Sloppy's Bar?
Adam: Sure, that or on my 17" Sylvania...
Bob: Sloppy's it is. Cool, Beer and a game, sweet.
Adam: Well I won't be drinking, but still a game and some soda.
Bob: Oh you don't drink? (this guy is hitting on me, he doesn't want to watch the game, he's probably religious).
Adam: Nope.
Bob: Oh, well, we may as well watch it at home then, beer's cheaper at home. Why don't you come ovre to my place.
Later that day Adam and Bob are watching the game. Sober. Bob doesn't want to drink in front of Adam.
Adam: So... pretty good game huh?
Bob: Yup. So here we are. Two dudes in a room. Watching TV.
Adam: Yup.
Bob: Yup.
Next day at work.
Stan: Oh hey, you guys watched the game yesterday at Sloppy's? I bet you celebrated after taht big win eh?
Adam: Uh no. I went ovre to Bob's house.
Stan: Better than drink driving eh?
Bob: Yeah kinda. We didn't drink, just watched the game.
Stan: Oh. That had to have been awkward.
Bob: Yeah a little. But after the game Adam told me about a shortcut -- cut like 4 minutes off my commute.
=-=-=-
Now with beer:
Adam: Watching the game later, you like the Baltimore Banchees right?
Bob: Yup.
Adam: You want to watch the game after work?
Bob: At Sloppy's Bar?
Adam: You know it -- they only call it Sloppy's after I rolled that place over in '98.
Bob: I thought they called it that because... never mind.
Later that night.
Bob: (singing) Ohhhhhhhh CAN-a DAHHHHH!
Adam: (slurring) You know... the Banchee's are from baltimore....you Prick!
Bob: (slurring) You're the fucking prick you prick!
Bob stumbles from his stool and heads toward the toilets.
Bob: I gotta piss.
Adam: You know it!
End Scene
Okay, so that didn't work out the way I meant it to. I create thse characters, and they take the story where they want to go. The bottom line is beer is called the social lubricant for a reason, and since it is hard-wired into men to mis-trust each other that is why alcohol is helpful in forming bonds and letting down defenses. Look at all the tribal cultures, they have a ceremonial drink, or hookah or whatever.
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Tell me to get back to rewriting this site so it's not horrible on mobileYodariquo said:This story implies I get invited places. I don't.
In that story you would be "Adam". if you wait for someone else to make the move, get comfortable with waiting.
Get analytical on it if you want, draw up a list of your interests. Match it against people you know and create opportunities to share those interests.
Or you can compare that list with many formal social groups that are out there and join one of them, that would be even better actually because the whole purpose of such groups is to meet people with similar interests. It might be a political group, a group that is hobby or skills driven, or a social group like Rotary, Lions etc...
Another good way (perhaps the best) is to join a volunteer group that is doing something that you support in mind. There are groups that need help in taking care of the impoverished, blind, animals or the environment. (All of the females who get involved in this kind of thing are angels too -- as a benefit). The most enjoyable work I ever did was helping blind people.
You have a time deficit, so any of these will be difficult, but that's really an excuse, we're talking maybe 2 hours a week.
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Tell me to get back to rewriting this site so it's not horrible on mobile
Aspro really is obsessed with social drinking. I may drink beer straight out the rubbish bin, but at least I do it cause I like the taste! 
True fact: you don't need to drink to make friends. Now as to how to make friends I'm afraid I can't help as I've never really sought out to do so, but drinking certainly is not a requirement.
All I can suggest is pen friends, which would only be marginally more intimate than your interractions with people here. Sorry I can't help more! 
Pen pals? Who are you Strawberry Shortcake?
aspro said:Pen pals? Who are you Strawberry Shortcake?
Calm your nerves with a nice beer or something, man! Then we'll discuss pen palls.
aspro said:Pen pals? Who are you Strawberry Shortcake?
Sometimes They're Tiny , Sometimes They're Tall, But Friends Pen pals Are The 'Berry' Best People Of All!
Yodariquo said:Okay, so I can't read. The trickiest thing is that I don't know people. I know a single person (in my age bracket) from work. I guess I have technically "met" as in, exchanged names, at the consultant job, but that's about it. The groups for the university are an unholy mess. Working two jobs and getting nowhere, volunteering doesn't come across the least bit appealing.
I have been lucky to have some great friends throughout my life even though I actually try to avoid making friends most of the time. I don't mind being friendly, I am friendly to everyone but I am not the type to make plans with people I kind of know. The true friends I do have probably worked a lot harder had becoming my friend than I did to become theirs, I do kind of feel bad about that. Have you guys seen Yes Man with Jim Carrey, you saw how he was at the start of the movie, I can be like that at times.
As for how I became friends with them, one is a childhood friend from when I was a baby. We went to all the same schools, lived in the same neighborhood. He is a friend for life, funny thing is that he is very different than me. He is a party kind of guy, drinks, goes to clubs, has a ton of friends (all great people) and two brothers which I consider my friends as well. We don't hang out much at all anymore, all my doing cause I know he would love me to go out like they all do, but I am not the party guy, I dont drink, I dont care for clubs and he totally respects that. He is the kind of friend that I could not speak to for about 2 or 3 weeks and then hang out no problem. Part of why I kind of stay away for now is cause I have no money, it costs money to go out and they constantly go out and I always feel horrible being paid for and such. Once I get my stuff together I fully plan to make an effort to get out more.
I have another great friend which was on one of our podcats. I met him at high school cause he won the Sonic Championship in 00, what are the odds that the person that won a Sonic nationwide championship was at my tiny high school, insane. So we naturally hit it off. He is a lot more like me. Not a drinker, not into clubs, loves gaming and such. I talk to him almost daily and we hang out a lot. Normally its just to go over to each others homes, free stuff.
And then there is the girl which I wont get into the past much. She will be a friend for life. I am basically her best friend, I think I mentioned before that I would have been her maid of honor at her wedding if she had not moved. Since she has moved and is now married I obviously don't see her much anymore, we still talk almost every day. I get her, she gets me, she is like my other sister.
Those are basically my three pillars of friends, I have other more casual friends, but those three I know I can trust with my life. And I am good with that, I don't care to have a bunch of friends, just a few really good ones. I have also have my brother and sister which are basically blood friends. Say I move out of Miami and leave all my friends and family behind, I fear I would end up with no friends cause I put up a sort of wall when I meet new people. I guess I am very selective and I have been very lucky to have people that I do connect with kind of just land right in front of me.
As for you guys, while I dont know you in person, I think I can feel out that you are good people. I think I would be good friends with most of you. Being on the podcast helps, I feel like I know Yoda, Homer, Aspro, Foolz, Iga and steel a lot more than the rest of you non podcast guys. Yoda, I know if we lived near each other we would be friends.
One day in the future we need to do one major VGpress meet up, probably meet somewhere in Europe as that is halfway for many of us, it would be cool.
My family keep me so pre-occupied I only have two close friends, both of which I've known for 20 years now.
I can make friends, but I can be pretty lazy about keeping contact and all that. Like Raven, people annoy me. My family annoy me so much that when I am away from them I don't want to spend time with other people. I treasure being alone and being able to do my own thing without having to pander to other people's wishes.
Foolz said:All I can suggest is pen friends, which would only be marginally more intimate than your interractions with people here. Sorry I can't help more!
Strangely enough, this is how it's worked out for the one person I've met at university. She moved for graduate school after the semester was finished, and we're in contact via email.
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Tell me to get back to rewriting this site so it's not horrible on mobileJoin a club is what's usually recomended.
Try an acting club.
After a whirlwind of unexpected events, seemed to land on my feet. I though I good to go, but apparently I just underestimated the time-frame.
Classes started again the second week of September, but it was starting to become apparent through the summer. I'm slowly losing it. If there's one driving point, it's a sense of being alone. I apologize for the sentiment, as I have you all here, but that doesn't seem to be enough.
I worked full-time during the summer, the last two months of which I worked almost entirely alone. A couple weeks ago, I started a second part-time job at the university as a student IT consultant -- help people in the computer labs with software and printers/copiers. Aside from the users themselves, my shifts are also alone.
I don't even know where I'm going with this. I guess, by observation, people seem to have friends. That happens, right? How?
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Tell me to get back to rewriting this site so it's not horrible on mobile