I am here in secret, away from that little evil moron we have for a CEO. I must save Nintendo but no one will listen to poor Miyamoto. Do you have any idea how many games I wanted to make. If I was allowed to make what I want we would have the most powerful system with a Zelda, Metroid and new Star Tropics at launch. I have been secretly making deals with Sega, I already finished Shenmue 3, its ready to go but Wii U can't run it! I made Mario and Sonic, not a stupid Olympics piece of shit mini game collection, a full platformer that shits all over Galaxy. Can I release it no! Cause Nintendo must stay traditional the little one says,. We need more 2D Marios, he says. And less online!  Every time I come to Iwata with a huge game idea he says "shut up! no one wants to play Star Fox Universe, I want to know what boring hobby you do now, that is our next game".

I have tried to convince anyone to listen to me but everyone is stupid! Especially that Reggie, do you know that he didn't know what HDTV is until last year! What do you think happened with the Wii, Iwata believes everything he says. Do you know that Bill Trinnen wants to create a super Virtual Console where every game in our history is available on day one, and America can have access for it for a small monthly fee like a Netflix service. But nooo Reggie says only one VC game every 6 months or we crowd the market. He is an imbeciel!!!

So I come to you for help. I have seen our future and it is CEO Robio. We must remove Iwata and Reggie from power. I can't do it, he already suspects me, I can't get close. He has powers over most people, he stares at them and they go "awww how cute, lets keep him". Every board of investor meeting ends with all the investors petting Iwata, its crazy! Help me VGPress, your our only hope!

aspro said:

Which means you are now one step away from having a Juggalo DM you and ask if he can "stay at your pad" when he's in Florda next week.

They'd use a lot more profanity to ask. And then they'd ask if I have any meth to share.

But hey, every general needs mindless peons to fight his battles.

Please excuse our Miyamoto, he was drunk and knows not of what he speaks. Nintendo does not need a new CEO, I will remain CEO. I understand our forcast revisions were not as we envisioned, I misread the market but I will correct our mistakes, please understand. I have come to realize that the reason we failed in 2013 was because we made it the Year of Luigi, clearly Luigi was a terrible choice and we will never make that mistake again.

Instead we have learned for our mistake. From all our research we have determined that what the general public wants more than anything is Year of Toad!  I am happy to announce Super Toad Bros for the Wii U and 3DS. The last few Mario games have not sold as well as as previous entries in the series, this tells us everyone hates platformers. So instead of a new Mario platforming adventure we allow you to play the Toad Bros. who manage the mushroom shops in the Mushroom Kingdom. Every day in the game you must organize which item to hide in which chest so if Mario so happens to visit he may choose only one item! There are over 30 different mushroom houses to manage, each with a unique item like new Doggy Tail which Mario can use to do the same thing all other suits with a tail does, but we can advertise it as if its a brand new idea!  When you are done decorating your extremely tiny mushroom house you may watch what Mario is doing, watch him explore a gigantic new world. If he comes near your shop you may intice him to enter by yelling in your horrible toad voice "hey! over here!" over and over again.

The new Super Toad Bros. will be released in holiday 2014 for the budget price of $49.99 for Wii U and $34.99 for 3DS. We believe the combination of this agreesive price strategy and the appeal of Toad is exactly what market has wanted from Nintendo. We believe this should change our fortunes. Thank you for your time.

I bet you got a real cozy office.

Female Juggalo bodyguards protect me!!!!

Driveclub looks amazing!

Archangel3371 said:

Meh. Forza 5's better.

Earning those MS checks huh.

You have to wonder why MS doesn;t just save their money and shut down Lionhead at this point:

Yes, Lionhead is working on something that isn't "Fable-esque"