I cannot claim the following as my own. I wish I could, but really I don't watch nearly enough Japanese porn. This was written by a guy who goes by the name Azrael, and for almost the last decade Az has been living in Japan. Az is a large black man from San Francisco and originally went over to Japan as an English teacher in a Japanese middle school, and chronicled the experience in his blog. The result was one of the funniest things I've ever read in my life. As time went on he focused more or just life in Japan as a Gaijin who REALLY sticks out in a crowd. The blogs were constantly moved around from one site to another but most can now be found on www.outpostnine.com and www.gaijinchronicles.com. If you have some time to kill I highly recommend reading his time as a teacher - http://gaijinchronicles.com/category/archive/i-am-a-japanese-school-teacher/ Good stuff there.

Anyway this one particular post was one of my favorites. He found a Street Fighter porno called Street Fucker and it turns out to be just the worst thing ever made. Here's just a quick sample of his summary:

"We then see Chun doing some more panty-flashing high kicks somewhere else on the rooftop (whatever happened to the guys she arrested?). Suddenly, Ryu sneaks up behind her, getting himself a nice handful of titty in the process. He and Chun-Li fight, with Chun getting the best of him by an armlock. She scolds him for being peverted, then asks why he's come - an incident? Something he needs help with? Ryu responds simply - "fucking!" He says of course he'd like to fuck a famous girl like her. Chun walks away disgusted, leaving Ryu to ponder The Way of the Warrior or something. He doesn't get very far until Sakura pops in.

Sakura says she seems to have interrupted Ryu during some deep meditation, and asks what he was thinking about. We see Chun-Li hiding in a doorway, also curious to see what Ryu was pondering. Ryu thinks long...and SO HORD about it...until finally reaching his conclusion - "She's on her period!" ...Huh? Ryu concludes that Chun's on her period, which is why she doesn't wanna fuck him. Disappointed, Chun walks away. But Sakura tells him that she's okay today too! Ryu says they just fucked yesterday, but Sakura pleads with him - after all, fucking is important training in the way of budo. ...In the different martial arts disciplines I've studied, I've never heard of that one. Gotta have a talk with sensei. Ryu gives, slings Sakura over his shoulder, and they leave...."

Anyway it just goes downhill from there. He also includes screencaps too, and frankly it ain't pretty. Sakura is just a damned beast.  If you want to read the whole thing, check it out here.... and enjoy.

Posted by robio Wed, 15 Jun 2011 01:50:47 (comments: 6)
 
Wed, 15 Jun 2011 03:18:15
I'll wait for the game version of the movie.
 
Wed, 15 Jun 2011 03:32:48
aspro said:
I'll wait for the game version of the movie.



But games based on movies are terrible!

 
Wed, 15 Jun 2011 10:25:58
Someone get a clip of this, now.
 
Fri, 17 Jun 2011 13:34:17
I bet Dhalsim's flexible....in bed.
 
Fri, 17 Jun 2011 14:02:42

You must defeat my Sheng Long to stand a chance!

 
Wed, 22 Jun 2011 05:44:51
Fucking great read. Thanks Robio.
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