I can't help feeling that it is very self-indulgent to write a blog about the things that went on in my life but this year I feel a particular need to kind of sit down and reflect and do a sort of "balance sheet" of what went on in my life in 2010, both good and bad.  So I preemptively ask your forgiveness if you feel this is none of your concern and not what you should have to read on a gaming forum.

smiley  Jan 1.  Saw the year in, in Italy.  Had an altogether great and very memorable time.  Great start to the year

sad  Jan 10.  In the very early hours of the morning I crashed into two parked cars less than 100m up the road from where I live.  I was driving home from the pub having consumed a ridiculous amount of booze and I fell asleep at the wheel.

smiley  Jan 10.  I had a very serious crash, and I've lived to tell the tale.

sad  Jan 10 - Jan 16.  Following the accident I was given over 40 stitches inside and outside the mouth and jaw area and was hospitalised for about a week.  I couldn't eat or drink anything for the first five days and was on IV drip.  If you remember it was also during this time that Steel had sent the famous killer Jaime from Guatalajara posing as an in patient with the intention of finishing me off.

smiley  Jan 10 - Jan 16.  I made it through this ordeal with just a scar on my chin to help me remember.  It could have been a lot worse.  I also saw through Steel's plan and survived the hospital despite Jaime's attempts to do me in during the night.

smiley  Jan 16.  Coming out of the hospital, I swore off alcohol.  Several months later I still don't drink and no longer feel the urge to.

smiley Jan 10 - Jan 22.  Two weeks off work on medical leave.  Woot!!!

sad February, March.  Post-traumatic depression.  I have a predisposition for depression, so an event like this left me very shaken and in a kind of bad place.  It didn't help that I had an impending court-case and a huge amount of money to pay in expenses, damages, fines etc

sad  April 11.  The police announced the results of my blood tests.  As expected I was found to have had a ridiculous percentage of alcohol in my blood.  I was being going to be charged for DUI and for causing an accident while DUI and would have to go to court.

sad  April.  I dropped the two Open University courses I was registered for.  The events of the previous months unfortunately meant that the last thing I wanted to do was study towards this.  I lost a great deal of money by doing this.  It also didn't do wonders for my already very shaken self-confidence.

smiley  July - August.  Traveling.  It was a very escapist time but I needed it to regroup, rethink, reorganise.  I went on as crew on a sailing boat for a two week cruise along the West Country coast.  Saw many wonderful places and absolutely loved the sailing.  In August I spent ten days in Southern France hiking and cycling on the Black Mountains.  This was also a very wonderful and unforgettable experience.  I also got to spend some time in my old haunting grounds in London.  I enjoyed it.  The summer was good.

smiley  August 28.  The wedding of one of my best friends and one of the best nights of my life.  Most of my best friends were there.  Everybody danced and had a really great time.  I didn't have a single drink.

smiley  September.  Started work again.  "Why isn't this a sad smiley?" you may be asking.  Well, for one thing I have a job.  Nowadays I realise it is something to be grateful for and not to take for granted.  Also this year for some reason I feel very well-liked at work both by students as well as colleagues.  This is very strange as I haven't really changed in any significant way.  Anyway, it helps to make work more bearable and at certain times even enjoyable.

smiley  October.  I started piano lessons, and I bought myself a piano.  I have always had a great love of music.  Being brought up in a very working class home it would have been too big a luxury to ask for a piano and lessons back then.  Afterwards for a long time I thought it was too late.  After my ordeal earlier in the year I decided it was better late than never so I found a teacher and started taking lessons.  She thinks I'm making good and fast progress and that I should keep it up.  I'm also studying Music Theory by myself (I take the workbooks and past papers I work through to my piano teacher for her to check).  This has been very enjoyable and I hope to keep at it and get better and better.

smiley  October.  I started lessons in Arabic.  Unlike piano/music, this was not something I was previously interested in or ever thought I would do until the last two or three years.  The school I have been working at is an inner city school with a very large proportion of children from families of asylum seekers or refugees.  The vast majority of them are Palestinians fleeing Iraq.  I have as many as four children in some classes and most of them have a very hard time learning Greek and they don't know any English.  It's incredibly difficult and frustrating not to be able to communicate with 15% - 20% of one's class.  So I decided to start learning Arabic.  It's very difficult and I don't expect to be proficient at it any time soon but if I keep at it then in time I may be.  Also just learning some words and phrases and making the effort with those children goes a long way.  Already some of them are eager to help me learn, and that way I get to help them learn as well.  It's a good experience.

smiley  November 2.  I had my court hearing.  The judge gave me a very hefty fine and half a dozen penalty points on my licence but I didn't have my licence suspended.  And I could finally put this whole thing to bed (or so I thought).  I remember leaving the court feeling very happy.  I had another reason to be very happy ...

smiley  November.  I met someone.  For three weeks we met every couple of days or so.  Dating etc ... or so I thought.  I fell head over heels in love.  I offered all I had and didn't hold back anything.  (I apologse if this is very cliche ridden).

sad  November.  I was rejected.  When I pressed the issue about being together ... being an item, I was told that apparently we hadn't been dating, that that was in my head.  I was told we were just friends and that's all we could be.  Apparently the sex didn't mean anything either, it was just friendly.  Except we could no longer have that, not even as just friends.  Now we could only be friends without benefits.  I didn't take this well at all.  This is the worst thing that ever happened to me.  To say it left me heart broken is an understatement.  It left me an emotional wreck and I feel that a part of me died forever.  I'm not over this.  I'm very far from being over this.

sad  December.  I got a letter from my insurance company via lawyer saying that my claim for 3rd party damages caused during my accident was rejected and that I had to pay them for everything.  This meant I had to pay many more thousand euros on top of all the thousands I had already payed.  I was very angry.

smiley  December 20.  I registered for a new Open University course.  This took a certain amount of will power and I'm still uncertain as to whether I did the right thing but hopefully it will go well for me doing the work and successfully completing it will be a confidence boost to help me finish this part-time degree I started years ago.

smiley  December 27.  Tomorrow that is.  I will be traveling to Spain, for a little holiday and to see the new year in.  This was a very last minute decision and even writing this although I have my tickets, I'm not 100% certain I will be going to the airport tomorrow.  So yeah, I'm not terribly excited about it but I think it will be very dangerous for me to just stay home during the holidays without any change of scenery.

I will end this blog with a haiku from my favourite haiku master and travel writer, Matsuo Basho ...

"With a hat on my head

And straw sandals on my feet,

I met on the road

The end of the year."

Posted by bugsonglass Sun, 26 Dec 2010 09:37:30 (comments: 8)
 
Sun, 26 Dec 2010 09:48:19

Why is everthing white?

Oh wait, the girl said that you were only imagining things?! That things were all in your head?! But you had sex?! LOL

Wow, what a nutcase.

Really, fuck her mom. She derserves it.

 
Sun, 26 Dec 2010 09:51:37

Not sure why it went white.  I had to paste everything again because it wouldn't post, maybe that's what made it white.  I probably spent too long writing it and the page kind of timed out or something, I'm not sure.

I realised I forgot something.  Let's see what happens now I try to edit it.

 
Sun, 26 Dec 2010 10:39:58

Overall there seem to be more Happys than Sads! Happy

 
Sun, 26 Dec 2010 16:42:12
King of self-indulgent blog posts here -- don't feel that any blog here, how short, long, mundane, exciting, confusing or irreverent is at all out of place.  It's good to get these things out, and we're all here for you.

Now, WTF was with that girl?  To match your cliches with one of my own, you're better off without her.
 
Sun, 26 Dec 2010 17:27:55

You know what?! Fuck this negativity!

Whatever the chick did to you, there is one thing you should realize.

You nailed her!

Even though it may be something like this...

it still counts

So look on the bright side. Even tough I am late, I hereby congratulate you...

You just had sex (click this link, it will cheer you up)

 
Sun, 26 Dec 2010 17:58:07

Chicks are weird like that.

 
Sun, 26 Dec 2010 22:23:46

Have an awesome time in Spain Bugsie!

Here's hoping the New Year brings good fortune for You and for ALL of us!

 
Mon, 27 Dec 2010 07:56:32
phantom_leo said:

Have an awesome time in Spain Bugsie!

Here's hoping the New Year brings good fortune for You and for ALL of us!

Thank you bro!

Raising my coffee cup to this.  Hope we all have a really good 2011, both here at the vgpress and in our respective personal lives

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