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Tell me to get back to rewriting this site so it's not horrible on mobile
"I will defend Leo to the last! He took my brother! Put him on a pedestal! Treated him like a KING!" he decries!
"You merely do not understand him! He wishes nothing but to bring joy to as many games as possible! To inspire gamers to take a chance on an orphaned game that no one else would!"
Out steps a shy but wizened Phantasy Star Zero Game Card from behind the Darksiders elder. "It's true!" he squeaks. "Leo gave me a home. I only wish my little brother was as lucky. The one called Ask bought him. Ask was legendary for giving a home to every RPG he met, but for no rhyme or reason, he barely gave my little brother a second glance. He... he traded him in for a Glory of Hercules!"
"IT'S HERACLES FOR THE LAST TIME!" a voice booms as a barely touched Game Card pops out of the Used DS game case. The crowd parts as a drunken Greek Card stumbles towards the diminutive Zero, now hiding sheepishly behind Darksiders. "Get it right pip squeak or so help me..."
The Heracles stops mid-sentence, teeters for a moment, then falls over and shatters into a million pieces.
"What in the world?" yells Wii Sports Resort.
From above, at the highest of heights of the Overstock Shelves comes a voice: "There was a time when we Nintendo games bore a Seal of Quality that MEANT something. Now it seems they'll publish any old RPG on the DS. It makes me sick!"
An electric crackle splits the air as a Metroid Prime: Corruption grapples to the center of the shocked mob, wiping the condensation from it's Ice-Beam equipped Arm-Cannon. "No one knows Leo as well as I do. No one!" purrs the Samus Aran adorning the case. "And I will be DAMNED if I will let you smear his good name... MARIO!"
"What?! But Samus... It's... Itsa Me! How could you-a say this?" Mario pleads.
"We ALL know what's going on here, Mario! You expected to be Leo's favorite. A man among men, how could he resist YOU? Yet he chose ME! A WOMAN! It was MY series that was his favorite of the decade! He hasn't even come close to the end of YOUR Galaxy! ...and you just can't stand it! You rile the crowds; you conspire against this HERO!"
Mario slips a white-gloved hand behind his back and readies a Fireball. "Its-a not like that! Just-a because Leo loves Super Metroid and he-a finishes YOUR 3D games, I don't-a hold anything against him. Come-a here, Samus and let's-a talk about this."
"I'm a BOUNTY HUNTER Mario and I am wearing my X-Ray Visor! Don't think I don't know what you are planning!" Samus lifts her Arm Cannon, points it at Mario and starts to charge her Super Beam.
The already hysterical Zelda shouts: "NO! PLEASE! BOTH OF YOU! STOP THIS! YOU CAN'T..."
"SHUT UP, BITCH!" Samus screams! "You mean NOTHING to Leo and you have no say in any of this! DARKSIDERS! Restrain her!"
"With pleasure, Samus! C'mere has-been!" A Chain erupts from the Darksiders, dragging a screaming Zelda towards the outstretched gauntlet of a sinisterly smiling War. War lifts Zelda up one-handed by the head, muffling her sobs. "Just say the word Samus and this Legend ends here!"
"Stand down. All of you!" A voice more regal than Hyrule has ever known commands.
"Whats-a this?" asks Mario.
A drawer behind the cashwrap glides open in one fluid motion.
"That's... That's the MANAGER'S reserved game drawer." whispers a stunned Prototype. "Nothing that goes in there ever comes out again... Who's there?"
Out jumps a perfectly preserved, still shrink-wrapped copy of Ogre Battle 64.
"The LORD! He's among us!" is heard from somewhere in the crowd. In one swift motion all except Mario and Samus are bent down on one knee.
"Not you Mario, nor you, Samus can quite understand everything there is to know about Leo. You two know what it is to be loved by all. You two have never needed the defense of one as Loyal and Noble as He. It is easy to love the two of you. It was Leo alone that stood by me when no one else would. He sang my praises to all that would listen back in the days of the N64 and still keeps my name at the forefront of his mind even now. If you think you know the passion he possesses, just WAIT until the day I choose to walk among gamers again! Posters from as far as NeoGaf to the back-alleys of GameSpot, to the gilded halls of the VG Press will know me. He will have served his purpose and delivered me once again to this land."
"But when will that be?" asks a pre-owned Wii.
"That I will not disclose. Now is not the time. I come here before you to be the Judge. I come before you now to preside over the trial that determines the future of the enigma known as Phantom_Leo. Is he game-whore or Savior? Old-School or Casual? Is he GameStop's greatest Ally or a God amongst gamers? None know Morality as well as I. None are so well versed in Good and Evil. Right and Wrong. Nintendo or Sega."
"Mario. Samus. Lay down your weapons. The trial to determine the fate of The Legend of the Leo begins now!"
"Ladies. Gentlemen. State your cases!"
(To be continued...)
Awesome. Best one in a long time Leo. LOL. I'll think about this one quite a bit tomorrow.
Wow that story took an awesome turn, now I can't wait to see where it goes next.
SteelAttack said:This is the reason this site was created in the first place.
Soon it will be a motion picture and we will all be rich!
"It is true, noble ser, but if I may, I'd like to start from the beginning of this tale" says Ser T'goth Beringold son of the Arch-Duke Reginold, born under the Seventh Moon in the Season of the Golden Fields of Ever-Sprouting Grain. "In the Beginning, The Maker created a City of Gold unlike any seen by man or beast before. This city was to be his home, for him to look down upon his creations, to judge them, be they good or evil. This was to be a paradise that only he and his chosen flock would inhabit, to contain not only the secrets of this world but those of the Galaxy, Universe and all of Creation..."
"Pardon me, Ser T'goth, but what does this have to do with the trial at hand?" queries The Lord and Judge, Magnus.
"Your holiest of Honours, I come from the Clan of the WRPGs, and I need to give you as much back story as I can remember! May I continue?"
"If you feel it is relevant, I suppose. Continue" replies the Judge.
"In the First Age, the Good Sister Andraste chose six disciples to be her maidens in the city of Gold. Sheela the Torn, Gretta the Pious, Shabula-Toth-Bjorngest of the Gyndall Tribe..."
Seven hours pass...
"...and the party entered the Golden City. It is said they sought the future invention, known as the Eff-Pee-Ess, to strengthen their Armies against the Horde of the Undead City of Butt. Only the future weapon, known as the Roquet Launtieur would subdue these Undead Butt-Warriors..."
"But, Alas! The Mages in the party had other plans! They secretly sought the knowledge of Creation itself. They sought to create worlds of their own and become Makers unto themselves. They no longer felt loyalty to the ancient God that birthed them and chose to rebel! The Maker had no choice but to cast out these rebellious mages to a place far underground. Shocked at the betrayal of his creations, the Maker stained his tainted city the color of Obsidian and vowed never to return."
"As for the cast out mages, their souls were tortured and twisted to a form that barely resembled the humans from which they were derived. They almost never left their underground caverns. They never saw the sun again. They spoke in Racial Slurs and accused each other of being Homosexuals. They obtained their nourishment by eating the flesh of slugs and ordering-in the occasional Dwarven Pitsa. They communicated with each other Telepathically, using the Dark Magic known as Hed-Seht. In ages yet to come, they would form the Blight known as the EksBocksLaev-Phan."
"Thus began the Second Age..."
"Oh-God!" says a bleary-eyed Samus Aran, having long since removed her armored helm. She whispers over her shoulder to a shadowy figure, dressed in a cloak, sitting on a box of Wii-Fit Pluses behind her. This figure springs to his feet toppling the box of Wii-Fits and throws his cloak in the air. He starts to advance on Ser T'goth who is blissfully unaware, as is the crowd seated before him. None notice as the box of Wii Fits rights itself.
Ser T'Goth continues: "The lands were in a constant state of Civil War as Elves, Dwarves and Humans all struggled to fill the void left by the Maker and rule the..."
Rap, rap, rap! A noise is heard...
Rap. Rap. Rap!
"IT'S A HUMAN! EVERYONE DOWN!" shouts Protoype.
Indeed, there is what appears to be a human at the Gate of the store. "Um... Como estas? Me llamo Ernesto. Ah! Lo Siento! Estes Estados Unidos! I will espeak en English! I am looking for the one known as David! Um... hello?" Wii Sports Resort whispers from the corner of it's case towards Mario, now posing as a Plushie: "What should we do?! Do we answer the Human?!" "Oh! I'm not a HUMAN, silly little Wii game! I'm a Fairy!" laughs Ernesto. "I guess its-a alright then." replies Mario.
It's Zelda who answers though, having struggled free from War's grasp for the moment, she gladly surrenders: "He's in Miami! Please! Go there! His obsession with me is getting downright creepy!" With that Zelda makes a break from War, gets half-way past a 7-foot tall stack of Rock Bands, before she is caught once again by War's Chain. "GET OVER HERE!" War shouts, chuckling as he drags her back towards him. "I've ALWAYS wanted to say that!"
"SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. CHUCKLES!" comes from the used PS2 section.
"Who DARES?!" demands War as his face contorts in anger.
"I DO!" retorts Kratos. "I AM YOUR GOD AND YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME OR SO HELP ME, I WILL GUT YOU WHERE YOU STAND!"
"oh. shit. sorry, bro!" offers a visibly shaken War who then promptly grabs Zelda and sits down quietly. "DO NOT CALL ME BRO. FOOL!"
"I apologize... Sir...!" says War.
"THAT'S BETTER" says Kratos as he rights himself on his section of shelving.
"OK. That was too much machismo for me! I am leaving for Miami now! Muchas Gracias, Chica!" Ernesto gives as Thanks before fluttering away into the night.
"That was an odd diversion" states Judge Magnus "Ser, are you ready to speak of Leo yet?"
"In due time, your Honour. As I was saying, the Elves, the Humans and the Dwarves had their armies at the the ready. The time of War was upon..."
CRACK! The shadow-figure has revealed himself to be Yangus from Dragon Warrior VIII. The cracking sound, Yangus clubbing Ser T'goth's skull with a Bone Club. "Cor Blimey! You Westerners like your long-winded stories!"
"If I may, Gov'ner, all I know is this Leo bloke is a right good chap! E's finished all o' our games e' has!"
T'goth sputters out his final words: "If it pleases the court, I don't even know why I am here, truly. I just wanted to get away from that Doctor Steel. He plays with me... in... in the n00d..." and he dies...
"Well Mario. I don't believe that was the testimony you had planned." states Judge Magnus.
"Ah. No. Your-a Honor... I call my SECOND-a witness!" A sqeak of sneakers and a revving sound is heard from the Dreamcast dump-bin in the rear of the store. The box of Wii-Fit Pluses moves itself out of the way. The second witness reveals himself to be...
(To be continued...)
I love this place.
…Sonic the Hedgehog!
In a blaze of blue and red, Sonic zips to the stand. “Oh! Wait! Be right back!” Sonic scoops up the body of Ser T’goth, runs out the door, deposits the corpse in a nearby dumpster, runs back, takes a seat and casually sits, crossing one, Red-Sneakered foot over his blue-hued knee before Judge Magnus can form his first syllable of inquiry.
“Mr. Hedgehog, if you will, court is in sess…” starts Judge Magnus.
“Oh! Where are my manners?” Sonic leaps from his chair, homes in on Zelda. “Hey Princess!” Springs to the crowd...“Hey little Spirit Tracks buddy! Imagine Princess, lookin’ good!” …and proceeds to greet each and every character and game in the store. “Hey Proto! Hey War…Wii Sports..SamusYangusMagnusDanteMarioPhantasyStarWhiteKnightTwilight…”
He stops for a moment. “Who’d I miss? Oh! Hey Kratos!”
“FUCK YOU!” is heard from the shelf in the back.
“Hey MARIO…Buddy…My main man…How’s it hangin’…Whatcha doin’…Wanna Race...Maybe a Triathlon for old times sake…How ‘bout Karts…Oooo…I’ll be on foot, you’ll be in a Kart…Go!”
“SONIC!” bellows Mario and Judge Magnus in unison. “SIT!”
“Sorry your-a Honor, he’s been a bit excitable as of-a late.” apologizes Mario.
“Apology accepted, Mario. Now, have your witness present his testimony” orders the Judge.
“Now-a Sonic. Tell us about your relationship with Phantom_Leo.”
“Sure Pal! Great guy. We hung-out all the time when he was in college. Loved my Genesis games! Couldn’t get enough of ‘em!”
“You know, Pal, you’re lookin’ kinda tired. Need me to fetch you a Mushroom? Want me to run to the Mushroom Kingdom? Can be back in a second flat! Less even! We can all watch you grow Super-sized. You know I’ve been meaning to ask you… When you grow that big, does your wan…”
“Ahem.” Mario menacingly clears his throat… “But, what about-a now?”
“Now what?” asks Sonic. Mario shoots Sonic the most threatening of death looks and folds his arms across his chest, tapping his foot. “HA! I used to do that as my Idle Animation! Remember? Ah! Good times! Good times!” Sonic kids.
Mario proceeds to butt-slam Sonic. “OUCH DUDE! WHAT THE HELL!” Sonic cries.
“SONIC! FOCUS!” Mario shouts and glares.
“Ooooh… Riiight... Now...”
Sonic clears his throat. “Phantom_Leo buys my games, and loves them for a short while. During that fleeting moment I experience bliss unlike any other. He pours his heart and soul into them. He plays and plays with a love to match 50 normal gamers but he stops prematurely. He almost never completes them; he rips them out of his machine of ecstasy, puts my games back in their casings and casts them aside as if they meant nothing to him. He does not allow me to complete my journey, to fulfill my one goal in life. He doesn't even have the decency to give me a home! He casts me out, keeping none of my games!”
Judge Magnus bangs his gavel and rises from his chair. “Mario. What’s the meaning of this?”
“Ummm… Your-a Honor?” Mario asks meekly.
“I heard that exact, same speech from my drawer just about Seven and a Half hours ago!” Did you and this witness rehearse this speech?”
“No. No. Your-a Honor. This is the way people-a truly feel about the-a Leo. Sonic go ahead and tell-a the judge about Leo’s ambivalent and-a negative attitude towards-a games.”
“Uh. Mario. I… I can’t…” Sonic says unable to look Mario in the eyes.
“Sonic… what-a do you mean?”
“Dude. I’m all about the ‘tude. I’m sorry. I just can’t knock the guy. He’s actually kinda cool…”
“Sonic” Mario approaches Sonic and whispers in his ear: “You
know-a what this-a means, no? Our deal is-a off!”
“WHAT?!” Sonic springs from his chair. “NO! You just told me I had to appear here! I didn’t know I would be talking bad about the guy!”
“You CAN’T do this! I was gonna be in your game. You were gonna be in mine in the Wii version!” Sonic pleads.
“SONIC! That last-a rumor hasn’t even been ‘leaked’ yet! SHUT-a YOUR FACE!”
“But… But, IWATA PROMISED… THIS WAS TO BE THE SPARK THAT RESTARTED MY CAREER!”
Mario openly gasps “DO NOT MENTION IWATA-SAN'S NAME HERE, YOU-A FOOL!”
“Wii Sports Resort! Grab-a him!”
“No! NONONONONONONONONONONONO… NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Sonic spin-dashes from his chair and breaks out running. He gathers speed and starts to run up the sides of the walls, yelling “NOOOOOOOOOOO!” the whole time. He circles the store, once, twice, ten, a hundred, two thousand times, building speed. A vortex begins to form. Game Informers are ripped from the shelves and swirl in the mounting wind. Generic game cases begin to fly. The shrink wrap machine roll tumbles from it’s rollers narrowly missing a terrified Spirit Tracks child. Zelda is ripped from War’s grasp and is whisked away. Lost. A lone voice cries out in Miami.
The cash wrap breaks up. Prototype is crushed behind a cash register. Wii Sports Resort doesn’t respond quickly enough and is blown out the door. All the Imagine games, White Knight Chronicles and the entirety of the Dante’s Clan are thrown into the nearby dumpster.
“NO GREAT LOSS THERE!” mocks Kratos who is now holding on by his Blades. Samus protects Judge Magnus. Yangus holds onto his helmet and endures. Strangely, the box of Wii Fit Pluses doesn’t move an inch.
Mario quickly slaps on a Helicopter Hat and whirls in place to match the speed of the vortex. He desperately cries out: “SOMEONE NEEDS TO-A STOP HIM!”
A Blue Beam of Light strikes down from the ceiling, in the center a Robot calmly stands. He taps his Mega Buster and utters the words: “Flash Man.” A stopwatch materializes out of thin air. Mega Man clicks the stopwatch and Time stands still. He leaps towards the wall and grabs the frozen, panick-stricken Sonic. As he hits the ground, he clicks the watch again and time resumes.
Judge Magnus straightens his robes, looks grimly across the ruins of the store and turns towards Mario. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t throw you in the Dungeon right now Mario. Forget the trial for the time being, and just LOOK at the Chaos you have caused!”
Kratos actually giggles.
Samus shakes her head. Sonic stops struggling against the metal, Guts Man enhanced grip of a quiet Mega Man. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry!” Sonic starts to utter…
At that very moment, a beam of golden sunlight pierces through the ceiling in the center of the store. A single, pristine, white feather gently descends to the ground.
“It is One-Thirty in the morning!” exclaims Magnus. “How can this be?”
“More Tricks, Mario?” questions a suspicious Samus…
Mario shakes his head and simply says: "No."
(To be continued…)
Dvader said:Sonic isawesomeannoying even in stories. More please.
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Tell me to get back to rewriting this site so it's not horrible on mobileSteelattacks enters the game shop.
"Stay thy hand my underlings, for now, I will poop"
And with that, he drops his pants.
Then an Austrailia governor shows up and sticks a banned sticker on his forehead.
gamingeek said:Steelattacks enters the game shop.
"Stay thy hand my underlings, for now, I will poop"
And with that, he drops his pants.
Then an Austrailia governor shows up and sticks a banned sticker on his forehead.
SteelAttack said:*waves fist at Australian governor*
*Governor slaps banned sticker on Steel's fist*
"Something's coming through! It's a... foot?" True enough, a foot, then the hem of a pure white robe ornately embroidered with what looks like threads of golden light comes though... Then a waist and... Wings! Majestic can't begin to describe them, nothing here on Earth matches them. A figure floats slowly downwards and it is a woman! To those who knew her, they would recognize the woman she was 50 years ago. The sharp, knowing eyes, the rosy red cheeks, the flawless skin and bouncy, curl-filled brown hair, the very picture of her at the height of her prime.
"Ladies and Gentlemen" says Judge Magnus "we are in the presence of Divinity! If I may, Radiant One, can I ask your name?"
With a bit of playful smile she answers "I am Josephine, Grandmother of Phantom_Leo."
"Milady! Here? On Earth? This is unprecedented! Why now? Surely in the grand scheme of things, this trial isn't significant enough to call for the breaking of the Laws of Nature themselves?" Magnus asks.
"Not even Heaven can contain me when people speak ill of my Grandson! I am here to set the record straight."
"You-a... You know he thinks of you every-a day?" whispers Mario, head bent, hat in hand, with what appears to be tears in his eyes.
"HOW DARE YOU EVEN SPEAK TO HER AFTER WHAT YOU'VE DONE HERE MARIO?! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" shouts a dis-believing Samus.
"It's perfectly fine, my Dear! All can speak freely here! I feel as if you all are family to me! Leo, even when he was a small boy, would tell me all about ALL of you, describing you ALL with the minutest of details. I listened to him for hours and hours! Oh! But I am getting ahead of myself! Your Honor, If I may?" she asks of Magnus.
"But of course and Thank You for your show of respect, Gracious One, although one such as yourself hardly needs to ask permission from a humble human like me!"
"And that is exactly WHY you are worthy of respect, Magnus! Now! Let's begin!"
Josephine gestures towards the HD Monitor mounted on the wall and it flickers on with an almost natural light. A scene with a clapping, happy toddler is shown there as if it were from a Three-Dimensional movie.
"What is this we are seeing?" asks Mega Man.
"This? This is the beginnings of the REAL Legend of Leo, Heroic One! Did you know you are one of his favorites, by the way?" she answers and asks in one breath. "You'll see! BEHOLD!"
Sitting on the floor of his Grandfather's workshop amongst wood-working tools and piles of Popular Science magazine, a 2-year-old Leo watches his Grandfather building a Television Set piece by piece from a kit. To Victor, this is very serious business. To Leo, this is a rare-treat and something he'll remember his whole life. Television Sets were magical to him at that age, and here was his Grandfather working some SERIOUS magic! Grandpa was a decorated War Veteran who wasn't always healthy enough to play with Leo, but was absolutely responsible for passing on to his grandson a love of electronics, gadgets and cutting edge technology. It was Grandpa that gave Leo his first Computer and the money to buy his very own Atari 2600!
CLICK! The channel changes...
A chubby, little, pre-teen Leo stares, jaw-agape, at the newest addition to his hometown mall: The Galaxy Game Room! The cabinets seem monstrously huge to him but the beeps, blips and flashing black-and-white monitors prove too much for him to resist! "Can we go in Daddy? PLEASE?" "OK, but only for a game or two!" Leo runs over to the most interesting cabinet of all. It's numeric Key Pad buttons and two White Ships on the screen caught in the gravity of the Sun at the center immediately grab his attention. "Space Wars" he reads. "We can play each other Daddy! You wanna?" "Sure" he says. Leo beats him twice as his father fumbles with the controls and his ship drifts into the sun. Yeah. That is where it all began.
CLICK!
A few years later, the scene changes to the Time Out! game room on the ground floor of the mall. Leo stands behind his Father cheering him on as he plays the game Crossbow. "Shoot that googly eye! Protect the elves on the bridge. YEAH! Dad you're really good!"
"Hold-up. Wait a second." War asks. "Isn't that the same Father... You know... the whole 'pool' incident I kept on hearing him go on about while he was playing my game. Is THAT the same man? Didn't he try to drown him?!"
"Yes. That's him" answers Josephine simply. "To Leo, Blood is Thicker than Water, so to speak. Playing games with his Father, well, that gave them the thing in common they so desperately needed to forget their differences for a while and peacefully co-exist with one-another. You can't imagine how forgiving and loving Leo is even to the people that hurt him the most."
CLICK!
Christmas time. Leo's first, best friend. They exchange gifts beside a huge, real Christmas Tree as a blazing fire roars in the fireplace across the room. It's like a scene from a Norman Rockwell painting. It is the first gift Leo gets from a non-family member, ever. He unwraps the rectangular box and reads the title of the Nintendo Entertainment System game "Mega Man. Oh! COOL!"
Bet you never thought a robot could blush. "Oh. Wow. I don't know what to say..." the Blue Bomber says both proudly and a bit embarrassed.
CLICK!
This scene is more of a montage. Memories fly by. Leo on his first Christmas morning with an NES playing Super Mario Bros., awestruck by the scrolling levels. Leo completing Super Mario Bros. 2 for his college buddies, as one of them snaps a picture of the dreaming, sleeping Mario. Leo running across a college campus, having picked up his ultra-rare copy of Super Mario Bros. 3 from the mailroom, excited to show it to all of his jealous suite mates. Leo snatching the last Super Nintendo Entertainment System and Super Mario World tickets from their holders in Toys r Us. Later in life, posting about Mario Galaxy and it's similarities to 3 in GG's topic on GameSpot.
"OooOooHhhhhh" Mario can't seem to contain his shame during these clips.
CLICK!
The screen goes black, but sound seems to continue coming from the monitor.
"Hey Angel-Lady. There's something wrong with the movie!" exclaims the Spirit Tracks child.
Sounds of thuds, like a side of beef being punched. The sharp scrape of the bottom of a boot first hitting the gravel on a city side-walk and then the crunch of bones as a steel-toe connects with it's target. Cries. Screams. Metal and Wood, connecting with muscle and spine. Pleading. Begging. Silence, then fleeing while shouting and jeering.
"This was the quite literally the darkest time in Leo's life. Even if he could recall what happened that day, vividly, and his memories were clear, this is nothing I would ever show to a child. But wait... this is what I wanted you to see."
A bed-ridden Leo is surrounded by friends. The guys he got to know at his hometown FuncoLand have just brought him a copy of Paladin's Quest to play. One of them picks up The Seventh Saga and reads the back of the box. "You actually finished this game? THIS. GAME? Damn!" "Did you really finish Final Fantasy 2 in 2 days?!" "You're really puttin' these away, man!" "Anything else you want us to bring?" "You've been such a good customer of ours, you're practically an honorary employee! Our sign out policy is your sign out policy. Don't be shy." Disillusioned with the world, but encouraged by the kindness of people at the same time, Leo learned a great many lessons in those days.
CLICK!
Life accelerates after that. Pictures of Leo giving GameBoy Colors to his adoptive-sisters and mother along with their very own copies of Tetris DX flash by. He's then seen playing Street Fighter with employees in the middle of an EB Store. Next, he's shown shaking hands with Kathy Wutke, Vice-President of EBGames North America, as she congratulates him for putting more Final Fantasy VII's in the hands of gamers than any other store. A posing Leo appears on a TV screen with the words "Who are You?" flashing by. Finally, there's a a view of a living room full of family-members playing Tetris DS against each other on a typical Sunday, a beaming Leo sitting in the center setting up the games.
CLICK!
The images slow down and a scene from three years ago begins. In it, Leo is with an older woman. Her hair is white and thinned. She is stooped over and is wearing two sweaters because she is never warm enough. There is confusion in her eyes. She seems angry and scared at the same time. Her cheeks are pale and she can't stop her arms from shaking. She knows she loves the man in the room with her, even if she can't always remember who he is. He sits on a couch a few feet away. He has some kind of device in his hands. Ha! It reminds her of her Victor! He seems to be poking a tiny screen with some sort of stick. Leo looks worn and tired but keeps on looking up at the woman to see if she is OK. "What? Do you want to try, Grandma?" "Oh. Come on!" she says as she waves him off. He persists and puts his DS in her hands. He gives her the stylus and looks over her shoulder. "Go 'head. Flick the marbles with the stylus. Like you're REALLY doing it! Try!" The 85-year old Josephine listens carefully, does what her grandson says. Flick! Crack! The marbles connect on screen and she is overjoyed! "Oh! If you're Grandfather could have seen one of these!" Leo looks his withered Grandmother in her eyes and is overwhelmed at the surprising moment of clarity. For a moment he is a toddler, she is his invincible Grandma again, and all is right with the world.
CLICK!
Fast Forward to Thanksgiving of the same year; a crowd of people fill Leo's old room. They are gesturing wildly, experiencing the Wii for the first time. Bowling is the crowd's favorite. Leo's sister states the irony of getting a "Turkey" on Thanksgiving. Grandma was left alone in the living room. She mostly slept at that point so what was the harm? The whooping and hollering aroused her curiosity and she made her way to the crowded room. Just to humor her, Leo's mother suggests she tries to throw a ball. Not many besides Leo remembered her days of being in a bowling league to relax and unwind after she got home from long shifts of being a nurse. Josephine picked up the controller, listened to Leo's instructions, and threw a clean Strike! Boy did everyone go absolutely wild! The family members who were trying to avoid the Alzheimer's affected gaze of Josephine looked wonderingly at her as she raised her arm in victory and shouted "Woo-Hoo!" It was a moment in time none of them would ever forget.
"That was one of my favorite parts!" exclaims a proud and youthful, Angelic Josephine. Light is literally beaming out of her every pore.
"But you were old. You were sick." says a confused Sonic. "How could you even watch that?"
"You were just seeing the purest essence of who my Grandson is. He's a man who's seen many a dark thing in his life. He, more than most others, understands the importance to play, to laugh, to let go and simply have fun! But that's just a tiny part of what makes him what you would call a Gamer. You've seen how gaming has been a part of Leo's whole life now. Games speak to him in a way no other media can, and He speaks to the world through them in return. It's like a language to him. Where words would fail to reach me in my sickened state, a simple gesture and an electronic 'toy' spoke volumes to me in a mere second's time. Through gaming, he restored an old woman's pride and brought her back into the family that was missing and mourning her, before she was even gone!"
"There's so much more to it though! Gaming's become more to him than just a hobby. He has so many theories! He believes that the very action of being a gamer, relying more on Reflex and Instinct than complicated Thought, has changed the way they think and see the world. There's a Purity there that allows gamers to be able relate to each on the deepest of subconscious levels. It transcends language. It ignores borders. Gamers from all over the world share a passion for their hobby in common that's so strong it almost makes them like a global... Family."
"A family?" snorts War. "Ever heard of System Wars, Sister?"
"Have you ever seen two family members fight?" Josephine asks slyly in return.
"I see where this is going, I believe..." ponders Magnus. "Through Gaming and being a Gamer, Leo can relate to people throughout the world. He feels as if they are part of larger family that he, in turn, can be part of. As he loses the remnants of his own natural family, he seeks to replace that void with his brothers and sisters in the global gaming community. Am I on the right track?"
"You are" responds Josephine.
"Brother" repeats an obviously distraught Mario.
"I would say that is more than enough evidence to prove his validity as a Gamer!" starts Magnus.
"But he hardly FINISHES games any more!" interjects Twilight Princess.
"Tell me, my dear Woman. Does a parent still love a child even before they know how they will turn out in their life?" queries Josephine.
Holding her Spirit Tracks close, she says "Oh. Yes. Of course!"
"...and it surprises me from one who is comprised of an Adventuring soul that you fail to see that it is Not the Destination that is so important, as it is the Journey. Am I correct?"
"You are." Twilight replies, a bit ashamed.
"I think my work here is almost done. Leo has equal love for all games. Leo has respect for all Gamers. Finishing games for him is not nearly as important as being part of a community and, above all having fun. Capisce?" Josephine asks in Italian, almost posing the question directly to the defeated looking Plumber. "Oh, and when are you going to come clean about what's REALLY going on here Mario?"
He winces for a moment but instead offers: "Can-a... Can I offer you a 1Up-a Mushroom, mi Bella? That would make-a him so happy to see you again."
"No, my Dear, but Thank You. My time on Earth is done. Leo knows I am with him always. Suddenly appearing to him again like this would do nothing but shock and confuse him. He is a strong man, and I love what he's become. I don't want to do anything to change his course in life."
"I am going to leave you all now, but first a little gift!" Josephine blows a kiss and the air springs to life. Shelves right themselves. Prototype is restored. Magazines re-align and White Knight, Heracles and the rest of the Lost games reappear. Zelda touches down by Mario. Kratos rolls his eyes. "I think that just about does it!"
As these words are spoken, the golden portal opens again and an upside down head pokes through! It is Aeris! "Hey guys! How are all of you?" she asks way too cheerfully and bubbly. Josephine sighs, waves goodbye to all and in one swift motion, bats Aeris back through the portal with the swooping of one of her wings... "Some games just don't know when to STAY dead!" are her parting words as she flies through the portal and it closes behind her.
As the breeze dies down, a faint scent of cigarette smoke fills the air.
"Welp. Seems like this case is closed. AmIrite?" says Sonic "Guess it's time to hit the road!"
"The case of Leo being a true gamer or not is, Yes." says Magnus. "But yours and Mario's actions are inexcusable. There is most certainly THAT trial to attend to!"
"BUT. BUT. EVERYTHING IS FIXED! THAT'S NOT FAIR! You CAN'T DO THIS NOW! PLEASE!" begs Sonic.
"You will stand Trial Sonic. Don't make this any harder on yourself." advises Magnus.
"No. I won't." says the Blue Blur in return.
In the blink of an eye, Sonic produces an Emerald. Then another... and another... Four, Five, Six... Golden Spikes begin to grow... None are quick enough to stop him. Mega Man doesn't have time to react. "IF HE GOES SUPER SONIC THIS STORE WILL BE UTTERLY DESTROYED...!" someone yells.
At the very same moment as the Seventh Emerald is drawn, the box of Wii Fit Pluses overturns, flipping through the air. Time stands still for a brief moment. "We've got a situation here, Otacon." is heard.
There's a muzzle flash. Sonic's head recoils. He falls to the ground, face down. Sonic has been shot.
(To be continued...)
The leader of the games, Mario, holds a meeting.
"Gather around everyone. Who has been taken by the humans to their new homes?" Mario said.
"As usual many members of the Modern Warfare clan found new homes" said Mario's first lieutenant, Wii Sports Resort. "Many of your brothers were picked up as well, my family was fortunate as usual."
"Ok enough with the obvious, it sounds like we are gloating, tell me of the other families" Mario stated.
"One of the Dark Void clan was chosen today" proclaimed Wii Sports as the crowd gasped in amazement.
"That is amazing, congratulation Dark Void, it has been a long time since one of you have found their way to the promised land." Mario then turns and whispers to Wii Sports "We will probably be seeing him back here soon".
"The new childern of the Mass Effect and Bioshock clans have done very well, their families will be proud." Wii Sposts stated. "Ah and one of the Dante's Inferno clan was chosen."
"Very good, congrats to all." Mario noticed that the members of the Dante's Inferno family were not pleased. "Dante, what is wrong, is this not a moment to be celebrating."
"I'm sorry sir, it is just that.... HE took my brother." said Dante. A light gasp was uttered around the room.
"Oh no, you mean the one who takes many but doesn't finish any, the one the humans call Leo."
"Yes, he is the one that claimed my brother. Sir I fear for his life. So many of our kind has been taken by him never to be heard from again. What does he do to them! They don't get finished. He doesn't even keep them, they all get sent away... or worse."
The rumblings from the crowd grow louder. A member of the Prototype clan speaks up "I heard stories that he loves his games for a short while. During that fleeting moment you will experience a bliss unlike any other. He pours his heart and soul into you. He plays and plays with a love to match 50 normal gamers but he stops prematurely. He almost never completes us, he rips us out of machine of ecstasy, puts us back in our casing and casts us aside as if we meant nothing to him. He does not allow us to complete our journey, to fulfill our one goal in life. He doesn't even have the decency to give us a home! He casts us out, he keeps no games! My brother was once chosen by the Leo, he would send word to me that he was being loved more so than any game can dream of, but then the letters stopped, I never heard from him again!"
A panic rushes over the crowd of games. Many know the tale all to well and some are just hearing it for the first time. Mario tries to regain order, "Phantasy Star, your family is one that has spent more time with the Leo than any other, tell us is this true?"
"Yes sir, my youngest born, Zero, is with him now. As Prototype stated, he loves my son like no other. Yet my son has seen so many of his friends come and go. He claims every day he sees a new game enter his home and an another game leave it. He recalls the cries of horror coming from the castaways as they are removed from the Leo's home. Unfinished, heartbroken. Zero knows one day his time will come, it chills him to the computer chip."
"This is madness!", yells one from the crowd. "He must not be allowed to take any from my family!" yells another. One asks "there must be some games he completes?"
"Yes some games are completed, in fact many of our ancestors tell stories of the great Leo, the one who gave bliss to more games than any other human." Mario explained. "But he has changed, now he finishes a select few and even those are not given the luxury of a home. Zelda, tell them your darkest secret."
Zelda gets up, tears in her eye "the Leo has not completed one of my own family in nearly two decades."
The crowd erupts in shock and horror. The Imagine Princess clan bursts out crying. DS games hide behind their Wii parents.
"Why does he come here for his games, why take us!" one from the crowd shouts. "Why doesn't he go to the Blockbuster whore house, they like being used, they like having promiscuous game sessions."
"I don't know, I think he likes us new and unopened. He wants to be the one to open us, to use us and then throw us away as if we were the whores!" said a member of the White Knight clan.
Anger, fear, horror is felt throughout the room. "Mommy don't let me be taken by the Leo" a Spirit Tracks child tells his Twlight Princess mother. "I will try my hardest my sweet child, if you are lucky you will be taken by the Dvader who finishes almost all his games and every one gets a new home where they can live at peace forever." And with that the child sleeps not with nightmares of the Leo but with dreams of finding a new home with the Dvader.