On Fox last night, Glenn Beck had an apparent mental breakdown in what appears to be a shameless self-promotion by appealing to the lowest common denominator of American society. He has created an ingenious new plan to save America.

Basically his hypothesis is:
- Before 9/11, we were all dummies
- On 9/11, nobody knew what was going on
- On 9/12, everyone in America magically became good-hearted people that did the right thing and helped each other
- A week later, everyone went back to being obese assholes

Glenn's great plan is to make everyone go back to as good as they were on 9/12. How do you do this? You watch his show every night... I mean... you follow his 9 PRINCIPLES AND 12 VALUES. You can read this on his website, http://the912project.com/ (You might get an error, the server is still under tremendous pressure from all the stupid of America collecting in one place. Just refresh a few times.)

Okay, I guess it could work. Glenn Beck is somehow smarter than all the politicians and is going to help save America single-handedly. Let's take a look at these principles:

GLENN BECK'S 9 MAGICAL PRINCIPLES:

1. America is Good.  (No further explaination provided.)
2. I believe in God and He is the Center of my Life.
...

Okay I'm gonna stop there, you can see where this is going... go to the site and read the other 7 principles if you want to. I'll just say that on the comment section on each page of his website, the talk is disproportionately towards Principle #2. If you go there, you'll find such intelligent discussion as:

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EdinLouisiana
The Bible says that the fear of God is the beginning of WISDOM. This is what's wrong with our nation, they have forgotten WHO created them in the first place and they have no wisdom anymore. The more government, the less we see God in the midst. The Bible also gives a remedy for what this nation is going through if it would just take heed to. It says that if MY people who are called by my name would just humble themselves and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.(2Chronicles7:14)

StacieinMaine
that is so true! Because America has gotten so far from morality, and because they feel there is no God to answer to, they have no guilty conscience. It also is the same way with people who are spending more than they are making! My husband and I fell into that trap, and are working our tails off to get out of the debt that we put ourselves in. America has become a nation of greed and envy. We really need to put God first and read what His Word says about EVERYTHING and make that our "blueprint" for they way we live our life!

KjPrice
I feel that my prayers have been answered by this project. I thank God on a regular basis that . . . . . .

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Okay, you get the point. If you want a laugh, you can go read it all for yourself.

Then there are the 12 values, which basically says that Americans are so STUPID that they actually have to be told by a celebrity to employ common sense to fix problems. Things like honesty, thrift, moderation, personal responsibility. FUCK YEAH, IT ALL MAKES SO MUCH SENSE NOW THAT GLENN BECK TOLD ME!!!!

But wait... personal responsibility? Why do we need that if God is going to fix everything for us?

If a Fox talk show host and the most redneck religious n****r-hating fag-hating republicans in the US are going to save the world, then GOD HELP US ALL indeed.