Imagine a 4-year old DVader, snuggling under his covers in his footie pajamas as his mom reads him his favorite bedtime story…
“Once upon a time in a land far, far away, there lived a young girl by the name of Little Red Riding Hood.
She was known throughout the countryside as the brave young lass who saved her granny from the clutches of the Big Bad Wolf.
Due to a pending criminal investigation, surrounding the murder of said Mr. Bad Wolf and an order of protection served against the Riding Hood family, Red’s Granny was forced to move even deeper into the woods where her original cabin once stood.
Red, being the responsible young lady she was, still brought her granny her meals each and every day, braving the creature filled forest…
It was on one of her routine trips that our new tale begins…
Skipping along a well worn path, Red pauses at the sound of rustling coming from nearby, overgrown brush. “Who’s there?” asks Red.
“No one but us cute little chipmunks!” answers a mysterious voice.
Approaching a bush and lifting her nose: “Then what is that putrid smell? “ inquires Red.
“Ah. An observant one, aren’t we?” mocks the hidden voice.
“Show yourself!” commands Red.
At that very moment, a green skinned Zombie leaps out from under the bush, landing directly in Red’s path!
“My, what a big head and sharp teeth you have, Mr. Zombie!” exclaims Red.
“The better to gnaw off your skullcap and chew up your brains with, My Dear!” replies Mr. Zombie.
“Not this shit again…” sighs Red.
In one swift motion, Red pulls a Double Barrel Shotgun out of her picnic basket, loads it, cocks it and aims it directly at the head of a very surprised Mr. Zombie!
“Ha! An innocent girl like you wouldn…”
**KERPLOW** resounds the shotgun! “Wouldn’t my ASS, mutha-fucka!” proclaims Red as she messily separates Mr. Zombie’s head from his rotted shoulders.
Kneeling down by the remains and prodding the decapitated head of the now doubly-dead Mr. Zombie with the business end of her shotgun, Red defiantly stares into his eyes and simply says: “NO ONE gets between me and my Granny! Back to Hell with you, Douche-Bag!”
…and then happily proceeds on her way.”
(To Be Continued…)
The DS game looks pretty cool.
.......... wow
This is what I imagine COULD be the story behind the new, fun little shooter just released for the Dual Screen Nintendo Handheld!
In what will henceforth be known as "LRRHZBBQ" you play the role of Little Red herself or her friend Momotaro as they travel through bastardized versions of classic fairy tales.
You will hunt down and slaughter timeless characters like Zombie Granny, The Three Little Zombie Pigs and even Zombie Claus in this vertically scrolling, old-school style shooter.
This game is primarily stylus driven and profoundly simple to play. As your character marches bravely forward on his or her rails, you simply press on the touch screen in the direction you want one of four weapons to fire. Your main tool of destruction is an unlimited amo machine gun. It fires a stream of somewhat weaker bullets in the direction of your choice. Lifting your stylus off the touch screen reloads your machine gun when your magazine empties. You can collect a flamethrower, laser gun, and, of course, a shotgun from destructable barrels scattered throughout the playfield. The shotgun is good for clearing out groups of enemies. The flamethower is extremely powerful against fleshy foes, and, finally, the laser gun is even more powerful than that, but only fires in a straight line ahead of Red. Double tapping will throw a grenade in the direction you tap, as well.
Character movement is controlled by pressing in one of 7 spots along the bottom of the touch screen -OR- you can use the buttons or the d-pad to move, if you want to focus your attention on the oncoming foes. Either way works fine.
The graphics are simple, but functional. You have a good variety of Big Headed zombies to dismember. You got your common greens. You got your powerful reds. You got your swift moving faceless zombies. Skull firing caskets act as turrets. Zombie hands pop out of the ground to try to trip you up. Of course, big, fleshy, obese zombies explode into poisoned gas as you kill them, too.
It seems as if you get two stages and then a boss battle per world. The first world being the Forest with Granny as your end boss. There are 7 worlds all together for a total of 21 boards. That's a pretty lengthy game for a $19.99 "budget" title!
It may be simple action, but there's something very satisfying about blowing the heads, arms and torsos off of your undead enemies. I popped it in my DS at the beginning of a 55 minute train ride into NYC, and didn't lift my head once the whole trip! Even with the hustle and bustle of noisy New Yorkers all around me, I was having too much fun to be distracted. That says A LOT!
Developed by Enjoyup, published by Destineer, this shooter is a little gem just WAITING to be ignored in the rush of the 2008 Holiday season! I, for one, am glad I discovered it! I recommend a purchase for anyone looking for a bit of zombie-blasting fun!
I smell front page material!
How did you get my early home videos???
Sounds great Leo, fantastic story.
Red versus Forest-variety Zombies
Red versus Zombie Granny
Momotaro versus Pinnochio
Three Zombie Pigs Concept Art
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Zombie Claus
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You know who!
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Yowzers!
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Don't know. Don't WANT to know!
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Ditto!
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LRRHZBBQ scores a "Great" 8.6 at IGN.Com!
Review Here!
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Front page NAO!