I've been far too positive lately. So in that spirit I've decided to make a list of games I hate. Games that in my mind completely and utterly suck. Now to clarify I'm not going to list games that were never meant to be anything other than functional at best. I'm here to talk about games that were meant to be good. And some people do think they're good (they're wrong). Maybe you're one of these people (and once again I want to emphasize you're wrong). But this is my list so fuck off.
So for the month of February I'm going to give you my list. One new game a day. Look forward to it and feel the hate flowing within you. And here it is in no particular order:
- Faxanadu
- Castlevania: Lords of Shadow
- Tao's Adventure: Curse of the Demon Seal
- Pac-Man (Atari 2600)
- Dr. Franken
- Torin's Passage
- Blues Brothers (SNES)
- Limbo
- X-Men (Sega Genesis)
- Harvest Moon: My Little Shop
- Child of Eden
- Herdy Gerdy
- Final Fantasy X
- Actraiser 2
- SaGa Frontier 2
- Children of Mana
- Assassin's Creed
- Burger Time: World Tour
- The Acceleration of Suguri X
- Spyro the Dragon: Enter the Dragonfly
- Impossible Mission (Atari 7800)
- The Sims
- Double Dragon (NES)
- Rhythm Heaven
- Dragon Quest Monsters: Caravan Heart
- Street Fighter
- Captain Comic (NES)
- Journey
I've been under the impression that Ubisoft felt like they needed present day settings so that gamers could relate to modern day people since having something set hundreds of years before would make modern gamers lose interest. I am imagining an Ubi exec saying "We need something hip, something modern, something sci-fiey ...for the kids."
Never played it. I went from AC to AC: Brotherhood and then never touched the series again.
Could be. I know they needed a gimmick that would provide them an excuse to not create full cities and areas to explore. The reliving the past thing helped in that regards because you'd get those "this isn't part of the experience" messages if you tried to walk somewhere you weren't supposed to.
18. Burger Time World Tour
After the much deserved success of the absolutely excellent Pac-Man DX revamps of classic arcade games started popping up all over the place. Some were good like the Galaga update. Others were simply okay like the Frogger update. And then at the bottom of the barrel... or rather underneath the barrel we had Burger Time World Tour. God it's bad. They essentially tried to put the classic Burger Time game onto a 3-D plane with an aboslutely hideous art style. And they added rockets and jet packs. I really don't think I can explain it anymore than that. If you have any love for the old series just avoid this abomination at all costs.
19. Acceleration of Suguri X
This is one of the crappiest games I have ever played. It's like someone thought it would be a good idea to combine a fighting game and a schmup. Why that sounds like a good idea is unclear to me, but it happened and this waste of 1's and 0's was the result. It's a terrible experience, and not even the tinest bit fun. The only redeeming quality of it is that no one has ever heard of it, and that's gone a long way in stopping anyone from accidentally trying it out.
I have an urge to play some of these.
Go ahead. Play them and feel the burn of regret!
That looks pretty good on YouTube. Kinda like what a Dragon Ball Z game should be.
I felt that before but a visit to my doctor helped clear that right up.
20. Spyro: Enter the Dragonfly
It was easy to dismiss Spyro as a kid's game if you never played it, but I've always thought the first three games in the series were the best 3-D platformers outside of the ones by Rare and Nintendo. It had good action, boss fights, hidden secrets, and subtle adult humor that really made the games worth spending time with. Unfortunately all those qualities left the series when Insomniac bowed out. What was left was a 3rd rate 3-D platformer that ran at about 4 frames a second. It was unplayable. No other word for it. I think the series bounced back a little bit, but it never came close to the glory of the original trilogy, and this installment was the absolute low point.