I've been far too positive lately. So in that spirit I've decided to make a list of games I hate. Games that in my mind completely and utterly suck. Now to clarify I'm not going to list games that were never meant to be anything other than functional at best. I'm here to talk about games that were meant to be good. And some people do think they're good (they're wrong). Maybe you're one of these people (and once again I want to emphasize you're wrong). But this is my list so fuck off.

So for the month of February I'm going to give you my list. One new game a day. Look forward to it and feel the hate flowing within you. And here it is in no particular order:

  1. Faxanadu
  2. Castlevania: Lords of Shadow
  3. Tao's Adventure: Curse of the Demon Seal
  4. Pac-Man (Atari 2600)
  5. Dr. Franken
  6. Torin's Passage
  7. Blues Brothers (SNES)
  8. Limbo
  9. X-Men (Sega Genesis)
  10. Harvest Moon: My Little Shop
  11. Child of Eden
  12. Herdy Gerdy
  13. Final Fantasy X
  14. Actraiser 2
  15. SaGa Frontier 2
  16. Children of Mana
  17. Assassin's Creed
  18. Burger Time: World Tour
  19. The Acceleration of Suguri X
  20. Spyro the Dragon: Enter the Dragonfly
  21. Impossible Mission (Atari 7800)
  22. The Sims
  23. Double Dragon (NES)
  24. Rhythm Heaven
  25. Dragon Quest Monsters: Caravan Heart
  26. Street Fighter
  27. Captain Comic (NES)
  28. Journey
Posted by robio Sun, 01 Feb 2015 19:26:41 (comments: 157)
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Tue, 24 Feb 2015 02:32:21

Wanna know something hilarous? I had the Atari 2600 version of Double Dragon, and  . . .

. . . it had two-player simultaneous gameplay. LOL And it was a surprisingly decent version of the game too.

 
Tue, 24 Feb 2015 02:38:10

Oh wow, I never even knew there was a 2600 version. That looks terrible. Well, if it was two player then it had a leg up on the NES version. I did play the 7800 version of Double Dragon with my friend who I mentioned in the Impossible Mission post. Once again, not a great looking game, but it had the co-op and got the job done.

It did however, have some really sweet box art.

 
Tue, 24 Feb 2015 02:44:50

I prefer the red Atari 2600 box art:

 
Tue, 24 Feb 2015 03:08:24

Those box covers are awesome.  I want to buy the arcade version for the 3DS.  I sunk many quarters into that machine back in the day.

 
Tue, 24 Feb 2015 05:13:01

"Warriors, come out and play."

 
Tue, 24 Feb 2015 05:18:05

Watch out for Abobo's death grip or he'll toss you like a dinner salad?

That sounds faintly erotic.

 
Tue, 24 Feb 2015 12:58:09
SteelAttack said:

Watch out for Abobo's death grip or he'll toss you like a dinner salad?

That sounds faintly erotic.

I remember the good ole days when tossing a salad only meant mixing lettuce with the dressing and the other ingredients. Now I can't even say the phrase without cracking a smile.

 
Tue, 24 Feb 2015 13:31:20
robio said:

20. Spyro: Enter the Dragonfly

I always forget Insomniac made Spyro....so Spyro was kind of like the spiritual start of Ratchet & Clank. I should try those old Spyro games sometime. I rmember playing the demo for the first game, thinking it looked and played great for a platformer on PS1, but then I never picked them up.

 
Tue, 24 Feb 2015 14:08:21
If you do that I'd skip to the third installment. The first is pretty basic and bare. The 2nd Ripto's Rage is the funniest. But the 3rd, Year of the Dragon, is the most polished and probably holds up the best.
 
Tue, 24 Feb 2015 23:44:04

24. Rhythm Heaven

This game is discriminatory against the differently abled. Not all of us have rhythm. Is that our fault? Nope. And yet this game exists and mocks us for it. You and Rush Limbaugh can go ahead and play this, but be aware that this game is in and of itself is a hate crime. It's a horrible thing really, and I won't stand for it.

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