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Chapter 5: Miscellaneous and Final Thoughts

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If I allowed myself I could type a summary covering the bare minimum of what I wanted to cover and end up with around a dozen chapters or so. Even the topics I have already covered I only talked about managed to talk about the bare absolute minimum. I already regret not spending more times in certain chapters, specifically the previous one which I felt that I didn't even so much as skimmed over how the good boys constantly get screwed over by standard operating procedure. Before I begin my closing statements, I am going to write-up brief snapshots of random things that occurred in the place that bothered me.

There is a stereotype that while males are locked up with other males, most particularly prison, there is a lot of, for the lack of better word, homosexual activity. Kissing, dick sucking, constant sexual jokes, etc. Now I am in full support of the LGBT community, believe that gay marriage is a right, and that as a general rule people don't choose their sexual orientation. However, when it comes to the stereotype of those that are locked up engage in a lot gay activity, this is true in spades. It seemed that most of the clients, especially once they become teenagers, attempt to get into sexual behavior with one another. I'm not talking about them merely staring at each other, but more so sneaking into each others rooms, showing one another's genitals, and at times being discovered in "compromising positions". Now I fully believe that we have had some LGBT residents. Around 4% of Americans identify as LGBT with some studies indicating that up to 11% of Americans are part of the LGBT community. Again I have zero qualms about this what so ever and possibly couldn't care less. However, it is a bit strange as judging from the facility I would say that at least 60% of all boys in the home.

Personally I believe that due to them being around no one in their age group but boys and hardly seeing any girls results in their hormones rushing and moving on to the next closest thing. However, there are a few staff who think things are a little more complicated than that. A large portion of the staff tend to be older and black. As you can imagine these people don't have the most progressive viewpoint of homosexuality. It is a bit discouraging trying to get a positive message for the LGBT community out there when certain workers just see their confirmation bias that most homosexuals are just confused criminals seemingly spring to life.

When the boys do come across girls their age, they can't control themselves. One standout event is when the house ordered take out and two high school aged girls came to deliver the food. The boys ogled them and constantly cat called them throughout the windows. Despite the staff telling them to calm down, some of the boys didn't listen as they couldn't control themselves in an event that an actual young female was present to them on campus.The staff felt so bad over the female workers experience that they gave them a heavy tip.

One interesting thing about this is that a common joke about homosexuality while being locked up is that it is often the most masculine and homophobic males who display homosexual behavior the most. This actually tends to be true. If you have a boy that is very accepting of the LGBT community and isn't the most masculine, that person is likely to focus on themselves and if they go to public school they have a girlfriend off campus. In contrast the person who is constantly calling everyone "gay" as a derogatory term and is obsessed with seeming tough is also the one who is the most likely to sneak into other people's rooms and be caught in "compromising positions" with another resident.

Now before I end this topic I will reiterate that I don't believe most gay people are criminals or choose to be gay. I am full support of the LGBT community and them fighting for the rights they deserve. I am just merely typing a phenomenon that appears to happen in placements such as the one I worked at. This is also something other staff constantly talked about happening previously in the placement and in other placements they've worked at, so isn't a rare occurrence.

Something else that needs mentioning is the constant ideology battle between the liberal care approach type of staff and the conservative disciplinary approach. One would think that the result would be a compromise between the two, but the result is a mess and mish mash of a "program". In short the majority of the liberal care types are place in higher up positions where they can dictate policy. The majority of the conservative discipline types work the ground floor with the kids. Like in federal politics what often occurs is that both sides consistently misinterpret what the other is trying to state and continues to do things their own way the best possible. At the end of the day however, it is the liberal care types who dictate the rules and policies, hence why throughout this write-ups residents who break the rules get a slap on the wrist at best. That said it isn't as if when the conservative disciplinary type hold the ball things are much better. I at times hear how things work in different placements. I recall a few of the conservative staff talking with pride as they were allowed to beat up the residents when they didn't listen. And by beat up I meant physically punch and kick them until bloody like a school bully beating up a victim. "Knock their heads in" as one staff frequently called it. Hearing how this is many other placements work, I'm not sure the homes subscribing to the "get out of jail free" model could be the worst thing out there.

While the conservative workers did have some out there opinions and beliefs, at least they were good workers. They would regularly stand up to the kids and do their jobs properly. In contrast the liberal workers tended to be the worst workers imaginable. The average forum poster you see on the internet may talk a big game about how kids like these need proper treatment and support, but put them in a house filled with the kids they talk about and it will be a cold day in hell before they manage to leave the office unless they absolutely have to. Its one thing to type on the internet and talk with friends about the injustices these kids face, it's a completely different thing to actually put your money where your mouth is. When they do leave the office they often get manipulated left and right and have no idea.what to do in a huge variety of situations.

To be fair, much of this is due to the fact that the placement had no training what so ever. And when I mean no training, I mean no training. No staff to introduce you the ropes, no summary of how routine is run, no explanation of what to do if emergency events happen, there wasn't even an orientation. Most alarmingly I didn't' get trained how to properly restrain a a resident, incase they attacked me, a child, or another staff member, until about half a year working the job. It was very common to have a shift where nobody was trained how to restrain. And if you do restrain a child without being properly trained they can cry fowl and state that you hurt them, and when the agency sees that restrained without being trained properly...you can imagine the consequences. And yes the residents were aware of this and yes they took advantage of the fact.

One last thing I wanted to touch on is how the job desensitizes you. People often hear about how war or working in the police force desensitizes one toward the horrors they experience. I can say that working in my previous job I feel like I have been desensitized the same way. While people are already stating that they find what they read as very disturbing, to me I just brush it off. I've read through dozens of different horror stories, I've witnessed hundreds of kids meltdown for various reasons, I've seen countless times of kids using physical and sexual intimidation. Being honest the entire things just blur to me now. It just isn't me either, but the entire staff as well. Things like two boys, one 14 and the other 10, just ran off campus with one another. Most people would run off campus to go fetch the 10 year old boy, but I wasn't allowed to leave campus as the other staff and I still had to eye nine other residents. This dilemma would eat a normal person up, but to me and the staff scheduled it was just how things go sometimes working the job.

I've noticed that this desensitization is present when I engage in certain media as well. The video game Life is Strange is suppose to have the player feel sympathy for the spotlight character Chloe. During her teenage life, her father dies and her best friend leaves her. This results in her being a troubled youth and a rebel. Most game players felt sympathy for her. I however just saw her as a whiny bitch who just had to get over her father's death. In my mind I kept comparing her to the kids I worked with and saw her engagement in delinquent activity as unwarranted. I wonder if I would have felt the same way if I played the game few years ago.

There are still many things I haven't gotten a chance to talk about. Things such as how the children are medicated up the ass or the insane turnover rate we had in facility. But again, if I were to cover even the bare basics of the things I encountered I would end up with around a a dozen chapters or so. Society is infamous of  having large institutions taking simple concepts and just flatout fucking them up. So it comes to no surprise that when society tries to organize a system for something as common as parenting the result is pitiful. Rather then being called a "treatment facility" the place should be called what it really is, a warehouse. It is place where the state, in assistance with the private marketplace at times, warehouses children that are unwanted by their parents and unwanted by society, whether or not they are worthy of holding that title. These placements hire enough staff to keep the kids from killing each other and to stay in their rooms, and not much else. Occasionally they will throw in some things that will give the illusion they provide treatment such as the kids seeing therapists once a week or outings. But that's about as many bones that are thrown.

I will admit that I am currently not a parent, however I at least can see the huge amount of flaws the program has. For starters kids should be allowed to be kids. They shouldn't have a rigid routine and be in their rooms all day. They should be allowed to experiment and grow. They need attention and relationships, not just supervision. On the other side of the coin, while it is okay to understand that these children are going through motions and give them a slight pass on some of their behaviors, being blatantly disrespectful to adults and peers is a huge no-no. While people have different views on parenting and treatment, I believe that the majority will at least find common ground in not having children under such strict repeating routine, as well as not being so disrespectful to those around them.

Now I can sit and complain a lot, and I'm sure some may read this and think to themselves "well okay you seem to criticize a lot, so what is your solution then if you seem think that you know so much?" I will admit that I don't have all the answers to be able to craft a perfect program. I will also admit that as horrible as my experience sounds, there is a need to have a placement for youth who fall inbetween being not as severe enough to be placed in detention, but too much of a hassle to leave in a group home. However, I believe that at least such placements should focus on getting rid of the kids who clearly are showing no progress in their delinquent behavior and send them back to detention after the first few offenses. I also believe they should hire better metal health evaluators so that children who are clearly mentally unstable get the treatment they deserve. At the very least this would result in staff not having their hands as tied so they can focus on the children who at least have a chance to benefit from the program. Again, I don't have all the answers, but at least doing that will have us start somewhere.