After graduating in Mechanical Engineering in October, I have finally found a job. When looking for a job, I made a list of interesting companies. And at the very top of that list was a famous Dutch company "Mammoet". And behold, I am going to work for that company.
Mammoet is a company that specialises in transport and lifting operations. One of the most famous Mammoet operations would be the salvaging of the Russian nuclear submarine "Kursk". Mammoet worked together with Smit to lift the submarine from the seabed, and then to transport it back to dry dock.
This operation was on the news everywhere and there were plenty of documentaries on Discovery.
But there are plenty of other things, like installing windmill parks at sea. For this the windmills need to be transported to sea and then installed. This is what Mammoet does. They bring the shit over there, then they lift that shit in place and then they fasten that shit. So basically horizontal transport (cars, boats) and vertical transport (cranes).
This makes Mammoet unique compared to crane building companies. Mammoet does not build cranes and then sell them to a customer. No, a customer wants something to be placed somewhere. Mammoet then tries to solve this as efficiently as possible. They might use cranes and transport vehicles they already have or they might need to build and design a entirely new crane or transport vehicle from scratch.
I will be working there as a Junior Engineer. I will keep busy with lots of things. Sometimes I will help designing new cranes, but I will be also thinking of other things. It is nice to design a new crane, but you need to get it in location. What if it is in Africa and the bridges will not support the weight of your crane? Then you need a new bridge, or you need to transport your crane in pieces. But if your crane cannot be divided in small enough pieces, you must redesign the crane. You also need space to assemble your crane and once you are done you need space to disassemble it. You cannot afford to get on-site and figure out that there is not enough space.
Lastly you need to check the availability of cranes and transport vehicles. You cannot plan to use a certain crane at a certain time, only to discover that is currently used in Africa while you are in New Zeeland. Yeah, that would be embarrassing. You can see that this will not be an ordinary desk job. I need to be on-site at times to coordinate things. Kinda sounds like a Zelda-like puzzle, does it not? Should be fun!
Of course the contents in this blogs are a very simplified version of reality, but I gets my point across.
You have not been paying attention GG. We do not build cranes and sell them. We are a vertical and horizontal moving company. So you want to leave the house, but you can't because of your penis. We will measure your penis and determine what the best to transport for it. We will also look at the route you will travel, to see if the crane + penis can fit there. We look at bridges, tunnels, overpasses, etc. Then we will determine how to transport it.
But judging from here, we might need to design a new crane. All our cranes are too big to transport that thing. Even our scale models are several orders of magnitude too large. We need to design and build a crane in the nano scale. We also need a device that can actually find your penis, this device must have a high accuracy. Transporting would also be a problem, things in the nano scale do not move fast. So we need to move you, your penis and the nano crane by truck. The price for our operation is 1 Super Mario Galaxy soundtrack. Are we in agreement?!
Did some already heard about Mammoet before? You must have heard about the salvaging of the Kursk, right?
Okay some equipment photo's from the Mammoet site
a Ring crane
a Crawler crane
a Mobile crane
a Tower crane
Transport
And more.
I would rather be housebound with my massive wang and super mario galaxy soundtrack.
As an initiation test, he had to operate a crane...
with his buttocks.
Definitely Bugsy's dream job!
Well the first day was doing tests for safety and stuff. Those were so easy, I could probably ace them without even reading the testing material.
So questions were like.
What do you do in a fire?
a) get the fuck away
b) stay were you are
c) run into the flames and start flame tagging as much people as possible before your health meter runs out.
Yeah, that was the level of questions asked
Needless to say I passed al tests
The next day was more interesting.
I actually did not do anything crane related
I was transport related. SPMT's were used to transport a huge boiler to a factory site. On this site the foundations are already set. So SPMT's are used to put the boiler on the foundation.
^here you can see an example of a SPTM's used in transporting a huge pressure vessel.
My job was to see if the four SPMT's, that are linked together, have enough space to drive in the factory site and lower the cargo on the foundations.
This was done by drawing a top view of the factory site and pasting the SPTM's with cargo from the top view on it. We discovered that the SPTM's would not fit. Four foundations will be in the way.
I solved this problem by moving the SPMT's slightly outwards of each other and a bit backwards. Of course now we need to calculate if the cargo and SPMT's can handle it, but my training starts next week, so I can't actually do that part just yet.
Today I played with Autocrane. This is a huge crane database. You get to see the crane's side top, front and back view. The maximum allowable cargo under different conditions, different crane configurations and the loads the crane generate on the floor.
You had ring cranes, crawler cranes, tower cranes, telescopic cranes, it was awesome. The rest of the day was me fixing my laptop. I will get a new one soon enough, but for now, this one will have to do.
Looking good, that's about the same size as my dong, so you are testing it for me right?