The VG Press Front Page

The VG Press Front Page http://thevgpress.com The latest front page articles from The VG Press en-ca Thu, 11 Mar 2010 20:13:41 GMT © The VG Press, 1865 http://thevgpress.com Animal Crossing Abductions - City Folk Gone Wild http://thevgpress.com/index_19.html Mon, 23 Mar 2009 02:59:48 GMT Animal Crossing City Folk was a game that was seen as innocent fun. Its biggest crime was that it was exactly the same as Animal crossing for the GameCube, and that if you walked across grass it died. Yet it would appear that there was something much more sinister going on in a country where the age of consent is thirteen. In a country that is obsessed with nudity, it is a curious thing to have grass removable rather than simply grow-able. In fact, the pains that it takes to grow grass in Animal Crossing is down right disturbing. Indeed, it would appear that this was a disturbing premonition. But a premonition how? I hear you ask. The answer is quite simple. Recently there were reports of a man from London England that would alledgedly approach minors in the game with a cup of tea, and he would ask them if they would like a crumpet. But while it would begin in an innocent fashion, it would then slowly grow much more sinister, going from offering crumpets, to telling them that he would like to cook meat with "leaves" -- a euphemism for plucked hair.An arrest was made early on, but through interrogation the following statement was received, "Do you guys know just how dificult [sic] it is to just register friend codes?!" and the suspect was later released. Another suspect was then named to be a Mexican man. As authorities closed in on his house, they fond it to contain only his wife and daughter, both of whom had been subjected to severe psychological torture. One such means of punishment was to forcibly expose them to play Noby Noby Boy, a Japanese fetish game, where the player controls a penis that cannibalises people, only to excrete the remains onto an awaiting audience. The suspect was later arrested upon return to his home. He claimed that he was in Argentina on business, but his activities were tracked to Brazil where he had alledgedly flown to meet a young boy that he had met on City Folk, but had found to actually be a sixty year-old woman. Being of an angry disposition, he had reacted violently, and taken her hostage with a Sega Master System light gun. A demanded ransom was made of a small boy wearing a thong, as the accused has been quoted as stating, "they are the spice of the life". The ransom was received, and the woman released. Finding the boy's unsuitable, he alledged tried to kill him, but finding that the light gun was not plugged in, the boy fled. Currently he is in police custody in Mexico awaiting trial. Article #30 Animal Crossing DLC to Add New Character - The selection is a big hit with kids http://thevgpress.com/index_19.html Mon, 23 Mar 2009 02:59:48 GMT Nintendo announced this past weekend that it would be releasing downloadable content for Animal Crossing, starting with a special new character aimed primarily at the younger market. Cute, cuddly, big and fuzzy, the latest animal is a bear set to paint the town red. In terms of what the character will bring to the players' town, the primary focus will be on the new candy store that will become available once he moves in. Aside from just the best deals on sweets, kids get free samples every day. While some may contend that adults have no reason to play Animal Crossing, this new bear should give existing and new players a tingly feeling inside, regardless of the social implications it may bring. Expect the online release in the near future. Article #31 Call of Duty to Include Fan Suggestions - Somebody didn't think this through http://thevgpress.com/index_18.html Mon, 09 Mar 2009 05:10:15 GMT Infinity Ward, the developers of the hit series, Call of Duty, have recently called upon the aid of the Internet at large for direction on where the latest in the series, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, should go. The response has been immediate and overwhelming, with some suggestions receiving immediate attention. Based on an evaluation of the community itself, there are several conclusions that can be drawn even before an official release. Below are the expected features: -Players will control commander Chuck Norris -You will receive orders from President Ron Paul -Your teammates will wear Guy Fawkes masks -Your battalion goes by the codename Battletoad -POWs will be constantly performing the Michael Jackson hit, Thriller -Radio chatter will be done in lolspeak -Interrogation methods will include forcing prisoners to watch 2 girls 1 cup and goatse -Vehicles will include snake bombers -Landmines will briefly play "Never Gonna Give You Up" before exploding -Radio support is provided by a ninja -Your squad will be infiltrated by Chinese spy, Honglaowai -The game will end with the reward of Bill Gates giving you $200.00 The game is expected to see a release this holiday season. Article #28 Unreleased Sonic Game Details - Meanwhile Sonic 2006 Hit Retail http://thevgpress.com/index_18.html Mon, 09 Mar 2009 05:10:15 GMT The VG Press has learned of a cancelled Sonic game that answers the lingering question from consumers and critics of whether there could have been a Sonic game bad enough for SEGA not to release it. Unsurprisingly, the game was in development following Sonic Spinball. The game naturally featured the universally hated gratuitous peripheral characters, accented nicely by oversized sprites. In terms of gameplay, there was a skillfully crafted elimination of any pleasure by prioritizing stealth and avoidance to any sort of action, speed or entertainment. Through internal testing, the frustration was too much even for Sonic Team, so much so that the related cartoon was also canned. Whatever the end-result would have been, the world is perhaps better off not having known Sonic's unreleased disaster. Article #29 Mario & Sonic Competitive Eating Game Announced - Find out where Mario gets his fireballs http://thevgpress.com/index_17.html Tue, 17 Feb 2009 01:31:10 GMT REDMOND, Wash., February 12 - Following on the success of Mario & Sonic at the Beijing Games Nintendo and The International Federation of Competitive Eating, today announced that Mario & Sonic IFOCE Champions is in development. According to Nintendo spokesperson, Cammie Dunaway, the game will make use of the Wii Balance Board, "...once the player has selected the role of either Sonic or Mario they will stand on the board and start eating. The Wii Balance Board will recognize the gain in weight to determine the winner of each round." Takeru Kobayashi, the champion competitive eater will be acting as a consultant on the game. Each character will have their own advantage, Sonic his speed, Mario his famous girth, and Peach her ability to swallow multiple foot-longs in a gulp. Let the games begin! Article #26 Sony Sues Nintendo Over Success - Holds patent for market leader http://thevgpress.com/index_17.html Tue, 17 Feb 2009 01:31:10 GMT From a recent press release, The VG Press has learned of a pending lawsuit filed by Sony of America against fellow gaming company Nintendo over a claim of a patent on successfully marketing and selling videogames. On the filing, neither Sony nor Nintendo has made an official statement, so we chose some irrelevant bystanders for some feedback on their thoughts. Said one man, "I'm really late for work." Powerful words. An expected counter-suit is expected for Sony's own infringement on Nintendo's pioneering of failed marketing, narrow focus and marketshare collapse. The case is reminiscent of the historic Rockstar v. Electronic Arts resulting in the successful bid of Rockstar to claim ownership of the concept of making a good sandbox game. This precedent was later overruled in Rockstar v. THQ where THQ was able to show that Grand Theft Auto was never actually any good. The hearing should be seen sometime in late 2011. Article #27 Zombie Outbreak, Millions Prepared - Finally http://thevgpress.com/index_16.html Mon, 09 Feb 2009 06:34:19 GMT A zombie outbreak in a small suburb of Sacramento was quickly squelched this past weekend due to an excessively prepared group of gamers. "I've waited my whole life for this moment" The notion of a zombie attack is not unfamiliar to those behind the joysticks, as it's been a recurring theme popularized by the Resident Evil series. "There's something uniquely enticing about zombies to the gaming community.Â Â They provide a violent outlet while remaining very non-threatening.Â Â It's all the visceral satisfaction of killing a monster with the challenge of fighting a couch." The plan was not without snags, however, as many objects were decisively less explosive than anticipated, as well as a distinct lack of crates for protection. America can sleep securely knowing it has a trained army of overreactive, out-of-shape zombie-killers sitting in wait for they next opportunity to shine. Article #24 Game Hits Australia 14 Years After Release - A Step in the Right Direction http://thevgpress.com/index_16.html Mon, 09 Feb 2009 06:34:19 GMT Chrono Trigger was released in North America in 1995. In a step forward for equal worldwide release dates, this past February 5, 2009, it was released in Australia. Chrono Trigger is a critically acclaimed RPG, considered one of, if not the best, of its genre ever made, so many questioned whether a game of that quality would ever see the light of day in the land down under. "People aren't quite ready for that kind of dynamic here." Some blame the timezone differential for the disparency between other territories. "We get releases midnight here. What day is it there? What year? You never know with those guys." Whatever the reason, releases such as this offer a glimmer of progress in an otherwise sullen landscape. Article #25 Zombie Segregation - Left 4 Dead More Than Mindless Shooting? http://thevgpress.com/index_15.html Mon, 02 Feb 2009 05:14:57 GMT With Al Sharpton blowing his top over RE5 you have to wonder why Left 4 Dead has been given a free run despite its subtle racist tones. Yeah, it's true there is a playable character named 'Louis', and the zombies are not black, but I'm afraid that is the very reason it is racist. If a film contains a black man being degraded because he is black it is racist. Indeed, the fact that it contains a black man does not give it a free pass; in fact that very reason that it is racist is that it contains a black man being degraded for being black. The fact that it contains a black man does not mean it is not racist given the context. So just why is left 4 dead racist? It is a product of the ghetto mentality where failure is a fact and dreams and success are attainted only through drugs or music. But these dreams are a one in a million chance and in reality most that are born in the ghetto die in the ghetto. Indeed, most that are born in the ghetto toil for little to no reward. But Valve aren't idiots. They know they have to tone down their racist undertones. What is the white man's to toiling with no reward? A job in an office. Sure things look fine and dandy on the outside and one could be considered almost successful if one managed to land such a job, but like toiling on the corner selling crack, the minor rewards are far outweighed by the stress of working for them. In the case of the crack dealer it's the increased chance of arrest, murder and poverty, and in the case of the office worker it is a lack of respect, thanks, and a meaningless life. IT is an especially unstable field, and one with extreme highs and extreme lows. Just like a crack dealer you might be a millionaire one moment and then the next you could very well be in gaol or out on the street due to unsavoury business practices. The similarities are endless. But perhaps most disturbing of all is the fact that all the previous characters have a distinct personality. Francis is a badarse biker who will clearly take shit from nobody, and Zoey not only attended college, but is also an independent woman who has a keen interest in horror movies, and Bill has served his country. But Louis? He is an IT specialist with no personality and nothing to aspire to. Valve's opinion of blacks is clearly that they are mere lemmings, capable only of menial labour in a meaningless job in a meaningless office'or to cut open the metaphor: capable only of peddling crack or being peddled in a state penitentiary. And even if Louis is seen to be as semi-successful there is still the fact that he is a Junior Systems Analyst. Which goes to show that even if you take a black man out of the ghetto in society's eyes you can't take the ghetto out of a black man. No matter how hard Louis works, and no matter how hard he tries, the depressing fact is that'even today'he will still get no higher than Junior Assistant Manager. Yet he is one of the survivors. Perhaps Valve deserves some credit for not merely killing him or portraying him as a mindless Zombie, but most likely it is for an even more nefarious reason. The black man has long been a victim of more than slavery in the cotton fields'yes, he has been forced to fight in wars for the country that once hanged his fathers and raped his mothers, and when he has done his part he is given no recognition. Indeed, it is quite likely that he was kept alive simply to show that even during a zombie invasion the black man will be forced to fight to save the white man. Admittedly a biker is not necessarily such a well respected social position, however there is yet more racist reasoning in including one. Valve have included an attractive young college student simply to symbolise the carnal and sub-human sexual urges that they believe black men have, and what does it take to stop a horny black man around an attractive young college student? A biker and a Green Beret. Indeed, even with the threat of the Zombie apocalypse Valve seem to believe that the black man will be more concerned with sex than stopping himself from being eaten alive. It is quite depressing to see that even in this day and age such overt racist tones, and even more depressing to see it wholly ignored by both the gaming media and the community. Instead of focusing on hillbilly white trash we should be focusing on the clear and overt racism still prevalent in modern American culture. Hasn't the black man been through enough? Article #22 Epic Games Invents the Extended Rental - Telling Gamers What to Play and When to Play It http://thevgpress.com/index_15.html Mon, 02 Feb 2009 05:14:57 GMT In a blast of innovation, from the developer Epic Games, has been seen in its wildly successful Gears of War on the PC.Â Â The game is the first of its kind to implement what's being called the extended rental -- a 2 year rental before the game stops functioning.Â Â The idea behind it is that it forces the user to finish the game eventually and move on.Â Â The fact that Gears of War remains the top played Xbox Live game shows potential for growth in the console sector with this concept. "Sometimes people just need a punch in the face to get the idea," said Vice President Mark Rein, "It's just what we have to do when our userbase is this stupid." Opposition to the idea has come from MMO vendors, particularly Activision Blizzard, which has been rumoured to be planning its own country using the GDP earned by its World of Warcraft subscriptions. "If they have no money, let them play games."Regardless of the resistance, the overall perspective is that this is the inevitable progression of the industry. Article #23